For some reason I thought of posting this today, it’s a piece I wrote years ago on Sleep Paralysis. I had to find it first as I hadn’t read it since I posted it and then I saw the date I wrote it: 24th May 2003. Why am I not surprised? It’s been exactly 11 years.
The video below is confusing out of context, but it’s like the anime Hell Girl where the victims are pushed into killing those who’ve victimized them and are then seen as sinners and are forced to suffer because killing or retribution/being vigilante is seen as wrong in culture unless it’s deemed acceptable such as killing in war or for ‘food’. It’s not the same as victims turning into victimizers but it’s portrayed that way. That’s why she says “to fight evil in all it’s shapes and forms…” she can use killers to destroy Evil but not real sinners to fight sinners as she goes on to say “you need not fear us unless you are a darkheart, a vile one who preys on the innocent…“.
Remember anything/one that’s been microchipped can be controlled/interfered with and don’t confuse innoculations with vaccinations, fillings/pills etc with medicine or ‘help’ e.g. chipping pets. Ever wonder about tinnitus and why it doesn’t go away by covering/blocking the ears? The air is filled with sounds you can’t hear and waves you can’t consciously feel all the time en masse, honestly think you’re not affected?
Anyway, here it is unedited:
Have you ever been TRAPPED in sleep… 24.05.2003
Advantages: None, unless you learn to master lucid dreaming from it though
Disadvantages: See op
I was going to post this as a poem but decided that it and/or I may be of possible help to anyone who actually does suffer from this. I will describe it as basically as possible otherwise I might confuse or write a novel – both being undesirable :). This is a topic that is very important to me and I have studied it at great length and detail over the past 8 years, so don’t worry I shouldn’t be too inaccurate :), I just hope I don’t’ forget anything too important because there is just so much to say!
WHAT IS SLEEP PARALYSIS?
It is a sleeping ‘condition’ that usually occurs during states of half consciousness, meaning when the subject is half awake either literally just before falling into full on sleep or just before waking up. (However, it’s been known to occur during sleep in very severe cases or to certain people and then normal dreams can follow.) Even though there has been much research there is no concrete explanation for it and no real cure, sometimes it is down to the individual and their own will power to fight it. In contrast to popular belief it is not a symptom of Narcolepsy. Sleep Paralysis is literally what it is called – a state in which the person can not move, talk, in some cases barely see visually (as the eyelids are half closed and one has to seriously struggle to attempt to open them but it wont work) and also rarely it is hard to breathe. One other rare aspect that can happen is a ‘buzzing’ in your head where it feels like your whole head is vibrating painfully and that can spread throughout the limbs but again I stress, this is only in advanced and severe cases. It is usually found in mild cases that all subjects were usually sleeping on their back but in more advanced situations the subject can be sleeping in any position. Sleep Paralysis is the condition where one is literally physically ‘trapped’ in sleep.
HOW FREQUENT IS IT AND HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?
According to most research SP starts in the teenage years, usually after 10 years of age and practically never after 30; it tends to decline after the early twenties but many people still experience it mildly now and then every few years. However, in cases where the subject is more prone to these periods, it can be much more frequent. Sometimes, everyday/night and more then once whilst asleep. They can last anywhere from seemingly a few seconds to a half an hour. Sometimes one can ‘feel’ them coming on during sleep and quickly wake oneself up to escape them. However, it is not so easily evaded, sufferers of SP will know that one feels literally ‘pulled’ back into sleep so if you manage to wake up and feel as if you are about to fall back into deep sleep – DON’T! I’m serious, it’s very, very hard to stay awake when being pulled back into sleep, it’s physically hard because you are so exhausted already so I would suggest immediately jumping out of bed if you can manage and listening to loud music or washing your face, sometimes a drink helps too. The majority of the population will never even realise they have experienced it mildly but for the few who have it bad, it can and does have major effects on their lives and lifestyles.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS DURING SP?
Now this is the million-dollar question, the really horrid part… scared yet?
Ok, there a number of things that can happen during SP alongside the actual paralysis, buzzing, partial blindness and lack of breath that is. What one has to remember that SP is very much a physical and psychological condition, both affecting each other equally like a cycle. SP is the condition in which many people experience ‘hallucinations’ but get this people, these aren’t your regular hallucinations that people self induce with drugs, no way, no how *rolls eyes*. This is serious; it’s practically like reality just in the sleep state. These ‘visions’ are very much ‘real’ to the person and can become more real in advanced cases so to speak, I shall explain. In many cases people can experience ‘waking up’ in the dream and everything is as normal as it would be if you had actually woken up, you may see your partner next to you, get up to go to the bathroom or even talk to people but NOTE these vital signs: there is no electricity, try to flick a switch – it wont work – I assure you that is THE BEST WAY to know you are having an SP episode because sometimes you can go on for ages without even realising. But as soon as you do, or even before as you are ‘walking’ around in you ‘real life vision’ your eyes should be half closed so you are peering through them desperately trying to open them and screaming for help to the people in your vision but they can’t help you, no one can except you – if you feel physically strong enough to force yourself awake. That btw is no easy feat, not in the slightest, it’s hellish and many an occasion its sometimes just easier to lay still in your vision and let it pass no matter how long it takes – this is probably the time where you start praying. HOWEVER, the type of SP I have just described happens in advanced cases where it is linked to Lucid Dreaming hence you are able to ‘move’ and ‘talk’ in the state but not really, only in your head. I shall describe the more common form now.
Regular SP – you can’t move, talk or scream in your vision/sleep period. Try as you might you won’t be able to and damnit, it will hurt trying. This form of SP is most commonly known as the ‘Old Hag Syndrome’ where many people see an old woman sitting on the edge of their bed on their feet or sometimes as an unbearable weight on their chest making it hard to breathe. She may be an old hag and you may think scrawny but honey, nuh-uh, this old gal weighs a ton, you can try to squirm, you can try to push and scream but she ain’t goin’ nowhere. SP is also the condition where many people experience ‘alien abductions and experimentations’, no, it’s not funny for those you who are chuckling – it’s terrifying and traumatic. How would you like to be experimented on in a ‘vision’ but actually FEEL it? See, this is different to the imagination, this FEELS REAL just without the physical scars. In other scenarios many people feel the malevolent presence of menacing spirits/ghosts or what have you in many a case they are just watching, staring and stalking but their presence can be very frightening as they literally appear to be in the room with you. Sometimes, these presences are not so statuesque though… oh yes, they can move and move they do. In many, many cases people have FELT that they were trying to kill them – many a time they have been straddled by these opponents and strangled etc. In other visions, women and men have reported FEELING raped by demons, this is deadly serious because you do FEEL this happening to you, it may be in your mind and not physical but it FEELS physical and it does literally happen to you in your mind and as we feel pain, fear, dread, panic and every other conceivable emotion in the mind it is really like you are being murdered, raped, experimented and watched. Silent now? I know the feeling. The very IMPORTANT part of that is, because you FEEL it happening to you, quite frankly you can and many do develop the psychological complexes that would develop naturally after such an event if it happened in waking reality. Now imagine, this might not even be a single random occurrence, what if it happened every night, over and over again? Can you say Living Hell?
EFFECTS – SIDE EFFECTS – LIFESTYLE ISSUES
1) Obviously, it can leave one very tired, especially if it was a particularly strenuous one that involved much physical tension or if it was long in duration and basically sucked the energy out of you. In most cases taking it easy after you wake up should help and you should fine. In others, this can basically be like chronic sleep deprivation leaving you tired all the time and physically drained. However, the odd thing is, if one hasn’t had one in a while and suddenly has one out of the blue it can have the opposite effect whereby one feels refreshed, alive, invigorated and energised for the day. Very odd, I know but true nonetheless but like I said, this is just initial – it doesn’t last. One is more likely to feel tired and perhaps grouchy afterwards.
2) Being tired all the time can have knock-on effects on your day-to-day life as I probably don’t need to explain as well as mood swings.
3) Headaches, these can happens after a period where one felt difficulty breathing or where the ‘buzzing’ occurred.
4) The psychological effects. I don’t know if I even need to go into these because they are so self-explanatory but I’ll be brief. One ‘dream’ of being killed, raped, experimented on, watched, unable to breathe etc can affect you for a while – one ‘real vision’ can affect you for a LONG while and with frequency and severity, such things just don’t go away. Counselling, medication etc can sometimes be necessary – and just as if it did happen in waking reality, there will be much healing to be done, psychological scars as we all know are the worst and much support, patience and care would be very much appreciated by the subject I’m sure. It’s a sad, sad thing to happen in waking reality, or in these ‘real FELT visions’ – the fear, the absolute terror is very, very real. The emotions are very real just as they would be in any situation, we feel in our minds and this is where the experience is taking place, the assault may not be taking place outside on the street but the emotions are running rampant just as they would if it were. After being ‘raped’ in a vision one would desire a shower straight away just as in real life. I can’t stress the gravity of the situation enough.
5) Appetite – this can either be increased or decreased depending on how you respond to depression, tiredness or general angst.
6) In one documentary I saw on Channel Four years ago, one man became violent in his sleep state, so violent that his wife would grab the baby and run to lock them in themselves in the bathroom at night whenever he had an episode. It became frequent and so he would have to lock himself in the living room before sleep and on the cameras set up beforehand to record him for research, the footage showed him getting up and smashing things, throwing things – general destruction, and he would shout at the same time. All the while he would be oblivious to what he was doing because he was asleep, but sometimes he would remember it the next day. Can you imagine what it felt like for him – he, the husband and father putting his own wife and child at risk whilst he was asleep, and they were at risk from HIM, not some intruder but HIM and he didn’t even know it or couldn’t stop himself. He’s meant to protect them not attack them or put them in danger, talk about serious stress.
6) Most recently I heard that some electronic radiation can cause it, even minimal levels like sleeping right next to an electrical device such as a clock as the vibrations/frequencies are meant to trigger a certain gland in the brain to produce certain chemicals, which in turn induce the state. I’m not quite sure about this particular theory as you can tell, I’m sure it’s perfectly plausible but I don’t know much about it and will have to research it some more.
SUPER BRIEF HISTORY
SP has been a recorded condition since medieval times usually in the form of women being approached sexually in their dreams and being unable to move whilst their visitors ‘pleasured’ them or ‘raped’ them depending on how the assault/seduction was received by the woman. Those alongside the Hag were the most common recordings. However, such a state has been known since way back to the Ancient Egyptians and many other cultures that put it down to indigestion and other such physical aspects affecting people whilst they slept. Up to modern day, many people, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists alike have dismissed this condition as myth/fantasy and have placed it in the scientific ‘dustbin’ so to speak but hey, they should try telling that to the people who actually experience it, try telling them that their trauma is all unfounded. However, there has been and is much research being carried out on this condition but as yet there is no solid ‘cure’ other then long term medication and counselling as well as experimental techniques. The condition, what causes it, it’s long term effects etc – everything basically – is still very much a mystery to the academic world no matter how informed or detailed the papers/thesis might be, no matter the jargon used and the assumptions based (e.g. this link http://www.stanford.edu/~dement/paralysis.html – they say it’s not harmful and then go on to talk about the anxiety and terror felt HA!) – there are no definite answers yet.
Alright, that is as much as I should really say now since I think I have already written a mini novelette and probably put most of you to sleep – or wait, no, that’s not advisable in this case! Sorry, bad pun *looks ashamed* just trying to add some life :). But seriously, take into account that in most of my description in this op applies from mild to extreme cases. In general, most people are never aware that they may have had an SP episode because it was so mild and momentary, it is only the unfortunate few who experience ‘uphill’ struggles or should I say what feels to be like actual physical battle to wake up and even then they may succeed in ending the vision but only to go into another dream and not waking reality and then perhaps more SP to follow.
Here are two informative links for anyone who may be interested in further reading:
If anyone has any questions about SP don’t hesitate to ask because it is likely that I left out lots of information in my haste, I will gladly answer them to the best of my knowledge or try to refer you to source that might have the info. I’ll just state that I am NOT a professional researcher or advisor in any way whatsoever; let’s just say that I know way too much about this subject, and no – that’s not a good thing. If you think that you suffer from SP (and not just experience it out of hypochondria after reading this op – of which if you do, I apologise in advance) and believe it to be of the more serious kind in comparison to the mild rare occasions then I would suggest consulting your doctor who can then advise you properly. If you do find that you suffer from SP, already know that you do, have in the past, or do in the future; you have my deepest and sincerest sympathies.
Below is a poem that I composed a few months ago describing the basic feeling of non-mild SP in comparison to another occurrence, this time in nature as a metaphor to emphasise the feeling and emotions more clearly. I hope you enjoy it, as morbid as that may sound.
The maelstrom of Sleep Paralysis
A torrent of emotion
A storm of pain, passion and delusion
Thunder and lightening, it’s a hell of fury and confusion
Forever a battlefield of ceaseless confrontation
… Herein lies the maelstrom
I lay there, still and breathless
Seemingly at peace and unnaturally motionless
My head is spinning and delirious
I try to cry but choke instead
I try to scream but my voice is dead
Faster and faster, circling, churning and coughing
Colliding and crashing
Waves of darkness and danger,
Slipping, sliding and smashing
The drowning souls falling in a whirl of hazy devastation
Grasping and pleading, the innocents are left thrashing
Choking on despair and desolation, the water gives them such a lashing
Herein lies the maelstrom
I lie here cold and mentally bleeding
Weary and aware that my will is fleeting
Body bruised and hyperventilating
I try to move but am frozen solid
I try to see but my eyes are blinded, my vision squalid
A vicious beast, foaming at the mouth
Gurgling and spitting as it pulls its victims down south
With its overpowering strength and endless desire
It calls your name in a deathly growl for which only demons can aspire
The mist rising and swirling, dancing to an invisible choir
I try to break free in one last savage attempt
Wishing, hoping and praying for the gods to be benevolent
Alas, with a silent wail for what is futile I begin to lament
Tired beyond words and doomed to failure, I accept fate and despise my destiny
I’m at the end of my rope and can no longer cope, no longer believing in bravery against adversity
The buzzing spin of the cycle begins to slow
The awesome density of the colossal surge gradually loses its flow
All that once existed, all that once lived, is now at the bottom, forgotten, for no one to ever know
All the secrets, treasures and fears of those caught within
Are all apart of the maelstrom, in its belly they now live in
I can feel my head clearing; the pain is subsiding
My sleepless sleep is almost over and the chronic fatigue beginning
I want to regain my senses, I want them back now, to escape this wilderness so cruel and unforgiving
All my efforts must not have been in vain, so I can’t rush and be pulled back into that hell
Patience is a virtue so I must give up, give in, and wait to come to, to be released from my cell
The force of violence retreats as the water calms
As quickly as it came the ferocious monster is gone
But forever imprinted in my mind and embedded in my soul
The scars on my skin and the fear in my heart remain ever so strong
The maelstrom is temporarily dormant, it’s held in quiet suspense
I’m allowed to wake, to move, to feel, but I’m offered no rest as I anxiously wait for the next episode to commence…
… I have no time to recover, but in these few moments, I can only yearn for the cure that they are yet to discover