Pursuing natural health & thinking beyond the superficial. Deconstructing Culture.

Last year around this time there was an existential pull/situation which didn’t happen but may have been better if it had, temporarily at least. There was baited breath by those around this year from last month, eagerly anticipating and salivating as is their way.

Many countries and cultures have festivals that celebrate death, ancestors, regeneration, darkness, ghosts/spirits at various times of the year – The Day of the Dead in Latin America is probably the most glorious one imo at the moment. The most obvious is Halloween/Hallow’s Eve/Samhain. Physical transformation is a key factor in the latter as it based on the harvest and going into the cold part of the year, physical and spiritual transformation is covered in the former though also stagnation. Transcendence comes into it from the Asian side.

On the superficial side I’ve not actually dressed up for this time of year except once a black/white zips/buckles outfit with black makeup and a necklace of skulls to go to work, nor gone to a Halloween party, I got some costumes but never got round to it. No loss. I’ve always got other things on my mind plus I’ve never been attracted to drinking, smoking, drugs (lol in the areas I’ve grown up in most people couldn’t believe that) and I’m not a club goer. Don’t take that to mean I’m a killjoy and an unattractive person that people don’t want. I just don’t like being around people who are losing or have lost control of themselves and want/need/desire potential addictions to relax/enjoy themselves rather than for health benefits (no comment of the few people in this world that take certain items under strict discipline and training, or the many who consume high quality alcohol in moderation). I also have almost complete sympathy for people who take them to escape a hellish reality.

Anyway there are an uncountable amount of statues in the world, so many suited to the spirit of this time of year, so many beautiful, grotesque, scary, symbolic, many made just to destroy for ceremonies and some to last eons. Many people attribute personalities to them but whose to say they don’t actually pick up and retain energy in some ‘persona’ kind of way – guardian statues don’t always work but they can give you a run for your money from pure evocative feeling to networked mechanical feats of security. If you saw a statue ‘come to life’ and ‘come after you’ would you take your chances against stone/heated clay, perhaps metal or would you run and perhaps return after the commotion is over? 😉

I looked through my candids and noticed quite a few shared with interesting statues though there’s a few I didn’t get and regret it. But first I figure it’s best to start with the waxworks since they’re funnier:

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Albere (as I call him) and I had a falling out *sigh*, we just couldn’t agree on some things but hey, at least we both have big hair.

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Whereas Maz and I had a great time 😀

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Audrey’s sweet but she didn’t even offer any tea!

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Kylie is well Kylie and I couldn’t stand next to her for two minutes because a certain someone holding the camera preferred her to me so needed me to take his photos ASAP.

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At least this guy thought I was pretty cool (Legoland)! Well, we were almost the same colour…

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Moving onto film sets! The photo/big guy above and the next photos were taken at the London Film Museum (when it was at the Southbank, now it’s at Covent Garden)

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The size ratio maintained here but power is concentrated and I hold my own ;-).

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Seen these shady characters anywhere?

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Harry Potter! Not quite gargoyles but still atmospheric enough wouldn’t ya say?

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Moving on to Paris. I’ve never come across someone wearing the same outfit as me but this ‘guy’ and I went to same school of hair/head styling evidently – unfortunately I couldn’t say that it copied me.

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A beautiful lady to marvel at, she really was something.

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Heheh I call it an achievement to shock a statue, and he’s probably ‘seen it all before!’

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Some of the statues were the only interesting thing about Notre Dame to me.



Moving on to the US, that’s one strange sphinx, seriously.


Yes that’s an urn, suits me, I prefer cremation.

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Guess the theme park.

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Ok that isn’t a statue but it’s an impressive functional clock!

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And back here for Stonehenge.

So hypothetically if I were to ‘change’ what would I ‘be’?

I had a Xena-esque dress once (full length dress) but it suited Mum better and of course it would (as did the witch), I’m more like Gabrielle.

However for as bright and ‘bubbly’ as people mistake me to be, I’m of the stoic, dark comic mold. It think it’s finally time to go tribal. Time to don the feathered cloak, bare the teeth and primal call. I’ve waited a long time and balanced, learned, kept silent, helped but freedom can only be had with release, not from oneself or those who deserve your love/devotion but from all the beings/things that keep you down/take from you.

A ghost is out of the question, though I had a strange camera experience once (time to be not all here and walk multiple worlds 🙂 ):

Time to leave my comfort zone of gold or gold/black to fully black. Odes to the ancient like this aren’t enough:

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Gold, Turquoise, White/Silver, Magenta/Purple and Red only go so far. Back to Black is where it’s at, where it has to be to overcome and be one again. I know Mum would be happy if she and/I turned jet Black lol. I’ve been avoiding it for a long time.

Some people here like to make fun and call me Buffy (though I’m not attracted to bad/evil guys) others annoy me with Max from Dark Angel (a character I designed well before the show was made and was actually called Dark Angel). However Buffy does have a character that I can feel a kinship to nowadays and if I were to ‘dress up’ it’d be as the First Slayer.

I need her wisdom and her force, but to reach that state one to overcome all the pressures and fear of what if’s. I always disliked the way Buffy disrespected her but I also understand.

“I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound.
I am destruction. Absolute. Alone.”
The Slayer does not walk in this world.”

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“The power of the Slayer and all who yield it.
Last to ancient first, I invoke thee.
Grant me thy domain and primal strength.
Accept I in the power we possess.
Make my mind and heart and spirit joy.
Let the hand encompass me. Do thy will.”

“Spiritus … spirit.”
“Animus … heart.”
“Sophus … mind.”
“And Manus … the hand”

“We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel – the hand.
Daughter of Sineya. First of the ones
We implore thee, admit us,
bring us to the vessel, take us now.”

[Adam] “You can’t last much longer.”

[Buffy] “We can. We are forever.”

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“No… Friends! Just the kill.
We… Are… Alone!”

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[Dracula] “Perhaps, but you’re power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.”

“There is so much I have to teach you. Your history, your power, what your body is capable of.”

“All those years fighting us. Your power so near to our own …”

“You think you know, what’s to come, who you are. You haven’t even begun. Find it. The darkness. Find your true nature.”

“They will not find you. We are alone. Always alone. Oh, it makes every kind of sense and it all adds up to you feeling alone. But Buffy, everyone feels alone. Everybody is, until you die.”

[First Slayer] “You think you’re losing your ability to love.
You’re afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity.

You are full of love.
You love with all your soul.
It’s brighter than the fire … blinding.
That’s why you pull away from it.”


“Only if you reject it.
Love is pain, and the Slayer forges strength from pain.
Love … give … forgive.
Risk the pain. It is your nature.
Love will bring you to your gift.”

Remember – the Slayer’s gift is Death. Only through the ultimate death/sacrifice does the slayer/daughter achieve peace/love/protection.

Sidenote – I thought it hilarious [sarcasm] how Giles once helped Buffy/Dawn pay the bills. I should damned well think so. Did she get compensated for everything taken from her, for everyone/thing she saves, all the predators she kills, the times she’s died, the times she’s saved the world? No. Yet the inflated, self important parasite secret society (similar to Anne Rice’s ‘Talamasca’) who do their best to control her, know all about her and choose when and how much they’ll tell her about her own past lives, puts her in danger and still expects her to obey and help them has shitloads of wealth and influence. She can barely get through education ditto work, is followed and hounded everywhere by the society and other enemies and still has to find a way to survive in society whilst they’ve ‘earned’ off her back. She shouldn’t even have to go through standardized education/work, she’s doing enough, but by keeping her true identity/role hidden the ‘powerful’ society can get her to do a bit of their storyline, wear her out and move on to the next slayer to try and brainwash (since Buffy is resistant) whilst they (and vampires/demons) live it up with titles and luxury and she’s reduced to “Would you like fries with that?” whilst looking after everybody. No time or resources for herself and peace of body/mind. Unlike the witches in Sabrina the Teenage Witch for example, she has no accumulated funds or security whatsoever.

If you can’t find a hero, if there are no heroes, be one.