OMGoddess ‘ah here it goes’ (RIP fictional character ‘Kel’ nice name though). ‘V’ you’re doing exactly what I’ve told people not to do, looking outwards in when you know nothing about freemasonry (except being part of the pack) or about culture/politics/history/art etc, picking a character you like & thinking it’s you.
That’s exactly what fans/cosplayers do but that’s what you are, an imitator. Using external media for relatable aids helps me/people like me who know who we are, who always knew, were always told, it was always reinforced in multiple ways. We remember, we can do, we gain more skills, we don’t take/use that of others for our own, to be.
What were you always told? That you’re the youngest in a family who lived off the back of the eldest child. Simple. And you’re all named after the ages that did exactly that. You have no power or intrinsic value of your own and you don’t technically inherit because you’re not really heirs, only heirs in human legal sense. Anybody can be those things, anybody can be an entourage, groupies or in your case unwanted hangars on, monkeys on the back.
Let’s look at your favourite fairytale and the only story you can apply to yourself: The Light Princess
It’s a typical retelling (not based on any character in a pantheon/system anywhere, just a generic/stereotypical superficial symbolic retelling like most fairytales are to keep it in our minds based on truth like nursery rhymes) of a being who was given up/even scared of her ability so that she can be with a human man. There’s no layers upon layers upon layers of symbolism there. There’s no code.
You’re confusing the Light Princess and Dark Princess, a term I’ve been using lately to try and explain that ‘light’ and ‘dark’ doesn’t mean ‘good’ and ‘evil’ to people – like how the players on a chessboard are all players playing different sides but of the same game and how they switch sides, how they pretend to be Black or White but can only move on the opposite colour squares, they’re not really who they are based on, they are players. They are in/part of the game. Representations/imitators. I always tell people not to play the game, try to push them out beforehand/early on, or continue into a pull to get them out the longer they’ve been in and addicted/brainwashed; and Mum and I were never really inside it, it’s based around roots, it doesn’t include/contain them though the players like to think and act as if they own the roots. The Light and Dark Princess is the same person, from one stage to another, one mood to another, one level to another. Like the [real] faces of the Goddess are aspects/partitions of the whole. A fake kin/member like you is exactly that, a fake.
Why you’re a fake?
Ok let’s go back to the basic (and modern) version, the fairytale you’re clinging to to give yourself meaning so you can relate/understand:
The Light Princess is a Light Princess because:
a) She’s a younger b) She comes form the realm of ‘immortality’, she’s not of ‘this world’ or in this story ‘of this plane’ (rather than cosmic/elsewhere) c) She starts out pure not knowing what it’s like to be human (and in many cases, not knowing sex).
You’re disqualified from all of those except a) you’re younger than the eldest. Big deal.
Also you don’t have the capability of becoming a Dark Princess (and you’re using the superficial, incorrect ‘good’ vs ‘evil’ = ‘light’ vs ‘dark’ sense, remember the Princess is really both Light and Dark, just as the Mother becomes/has the Dark Mother) let alone being the Light too? Why?
a) You didn’t ‘fall’ from one world/plane to another, from immortality to mortality, from one planet/star to another cosmic body. You didn’t travel, you are from here in this reality where you belong (don’t begrudge that, the feeling of belonging is something many hanker for, they’re not cut out to be wanderers, it’s not nice being a wanderer most of the time). b) You weren’t brought up in a family determined to use you as a Living God and based on real things told by other Brahmins and things that came when she did rather than grooming/making an ‘avatar’ for status. c) You weren’t tarnished/contaminated and/or violated (though you pretended to be and then got treated like a domestic servant by another fake kin who btw called me “the blessing in disguise” even though they were scared of me). d) You’re not a child of the First or an original. e) You’re not an eldest at all so you couldn’t even be a ‘start’ of a branch. f) You were one of the group trying to separate the First from Her First. g) You weren’t owned, you were spoilt, not made to suffer, you were allowed to be educated (they kept Mum out of school as much as possible after primary school, she did all the housework for 7 people, she was the one the parents had been told/decided to use as the scapegoat/sacrificee/good guru girl whose suffering and hard work you’d all benefit from – she became a prefect at school just to have food to eat for f*ck sake, and despite her lack of education put herself through it as a single Mother after being repeatedly bought and sold in marriage, and her intelligence was still enough for professors to say she’d have a good shot at Cambridge, twice – most people can’t do that once let alone with nothing, and twice). You were allowed to marry who you wanted, allowed everything, everyone who knew about Mum decided to rub it in claiming your child was Krishna? Is he an avatar of that sex changing to have sex with his brother deadbeat dad? A worker self-proclaimed god/conqueror over the root culture? Is that what you really want? Be careful what you invoke, even if you get what you want it won’t what you really want after you know better. g) You’re not hard as nails yet so gentle you burst into tears for anyone/thing even if you don’t like them but can feel their pain. h) You have no skills except being part of and disposed to people who want to fill your head with notions so they can use you like a pawn, a figurehead, puppet ‘princess’. No one wants you as a source of anything e.g. energy or knowledge – you’re looking to us and imitating for that. i) You don’t give a rats/guinea pig’s arse about others, ethics, right and wrong except when you lost something and it hit home, it got personal, and you were a full grown adult by that time. That’s when you started ‘learning’ from ‘insiders’. I was pushing the boundaries and trying get as many of you and myself out from the start because I knew none of that lifestyle could be ok, even if it was normal, it wasn’t ok. It wasn’t ok to feel like that, to be treated like that, it wasn’t ok for so many, even users to be in so much pain, to have had awful childhoods and become awful adults, it’s wasn’t ok. Ok? It was me against all of you, even Her. Now she’s got my back, and she’s not the only one, heck she’s stronger than me like she should be. I’m proud of her, I always was even though none of you were. We don’t have a lovey dovey bond, never did, so what? We’re solid. We’re not precarious like how you wanted us to be and you/yours are.
Who qualifies for the Princess (and in both her aspects and as the complete form) and was born to it? I do. And in terms your lot love ‘I am’. I always will be because I’m meritocratic, I earned everything every step of the way, the hard way. Don’t wish for it, if you want to life like mine full of parasites and wannabes like you, you’re stupid. If you want to lose everyone/thing, every loved one, every crutch, every hobby, every freedom to people who’d drain you to death if they could, you’re stupid. If you want every fleeting moment of joy stripped/outweighed/undone by tragedy, you’re stupid. If you want to be the truly strong because you have to be strong, you’re f*cking stupid.
There’s more to the light/dark manifestation, physical, but you keep to your ‘need to know’ full of yourselves info that masonic and masonic type people like to ‘be in on’ to feel special, to be part of a ‘secret’ they don’t really know or understand to hang on to and hurt people who do/can. I don’t need to know your ‘need to know’, it’s not worth knowing. I’ll just keep saying how things actually go with people like you rather than how you portray yourselves and you’ll keep coming to me to understand yourself/ves. Or you’ll get angry enough to ‘do something about it’ like those people who were sure I’d ‘die’ at age 36. I don’t usually care or believe your nonsense but just in case though I actually asked about it and begged for a replacement, a better one for Her, someone she’d be ‘better off’ with, who could do more for her – and you know what I got? You’ll see. Let’s just say the mark of the Warrior Goddess is mine, re-affirmed, more added on top of what was already there. This is my job, this is who I am, those higher than the so-called knowers/deciders of our time/timelines/lengths here, who are really just players orchestrating/manipulating. I was given something and that was it, they don’t have to waste words like I do being the Daughter/Communicator who can get through people’s conditioning and false realities. There’s far more important beings on this planet than masons and those who use them, each blade of grass is worth more than you all combined for example. So you can’t keep using the ’36’ like something over my head to be smug about. It’s bullshit. I’m here, She’s here, and They’re here, and They know. Even the guy being Anu (& his consort) here gave me his ‘apple’ without hesitation or resentment like you’d lend your phone to your friend if they asked, though I demanded and he just passed it to me. You can’t claim anything after that, Anu is beneath me, and I’m lower than Her but She was always above everybody. But we’re outnumbered, have no resources, in most basic format, and yet… Look who is following who. Who was always following who. We’ve won because we witnessed, we wore the shoes of those hurting like motherf*cking all hell, and we passed the message on. The old pantheon is still here, always has been, still stuck here and most wishing they could be somewhere else – that doesn’t mean there isn’t off planet travel, but those supposed to custodians failed big time and those who were supposed to be here in ‘prison’ like the British sending criminals to Australia initially, who got out, spread and took over – they can’t escape. We can’t leave either and almost everybody makes sure if they’re not going no one else is and sky travel gets more and more restricted/troublesome on every level; awake, asleep, meditative, physical/technological, metaphysical, metaphysical/technological. For every one that makes a hole or convinces a group not to build another layer there’s more making/reinforcing layers. Earth is a battlezone, not a nice sanctuary/paradise/biosphere experiment anymore, not even a schoolhouse.
P.S. I’m not a Prince and like I’ve said I’m not losing (or sacrificing) the Mother/Mother figure. The ‘illuminati’ message in the vast majority of these Mother based fictional/semi-fictional media/entertainment is that she gives power to the ‘children’/youngers [again] and leaves [again] leaving her Daughter or in more modern tellings Son/Prince who has usually fallen in love with someone here. That’s what the storytellers/history makers want here, yet another chance. You’d make a great ‘Daughter’ figure for them because… You’re stupid. Impressionable, weak, you’d fall for and eat up their sh*t, you’d get used and unknowingly abused surrounded by laughing, mocking, ingrates knowing they’d ‘won’ again until the next ’round’. The thing is, the lies are known this time and have been told to the right ‘people’ who can see through the veils themselves. The original veil, the illusion, the mirror, the Maya (ring a bell to you and who used you?) continued and got covered in other layers previously because the envoy, the Mother figure/overseer/creator, got captured and put into human form – she ‘fell’, was ‘conquered’. You really don’t know any of the stories/histories do you, not even your family history. An original root Goddess here was uncovered/rescued from her trap and sent back. There’s no getting away from that. You want to be figurehead of what? Nothing. A bit like being a Queen Bee of a population of weaklings, backstabbers, ignorants, people who’d sell each other out and hurt each other for next to nothing if any reason at all, for people who’ll take advantage of each other and everything around them, abuse the very home planet they have to live on. Oh wait, you’re from a family who does just that – a mountain made up of untrustworthy, wanting nothing but to level up, predators who don’t mind ruling over what they consider filfth, not wanting ‘subjects’ they can be proud of and who are proud of themselves. What a pointless Queen and pointless players playing a pointless game. That’s why in the illusion of duality you’d be a White Pawn, not a Queen even puppet Queen’s are too powerful, and I’m already wanted as the Black Queen. But I don’t want to rule, I don’t even want to be a leader but if I ever was a leader in any capacity I’d want it to be of people who were awesome too. So as a unit of strong people who care for each other and those ‘outside’ too, we’d be worth something, something to believe in, something that when we look in the mirror and evaluate ourselves we can be proud of, and not false pride – not the egos that want and make bad things happen to show how ‘wonderful’, ‘fearsome’ or ‘prophesized’ we are. We’d be able to laugh together, cry together, hold each other and those we care for without having to withhold ourselves so no one gets hurt/is put in a dangerous situation. I’m hot and cool baby just for being me; I’m not one of those people who need all the layers, who need the rituals to get the outcome (although they do work for me). I don’t create and I don’t claim to and I don’t want to – I don’t want what isn’t mine, what isn’t me, I’m not a pretender, a wannabe and here’s a surprise for you – I’ve never asked, wanted, expected nor expect anything from the Mother or any of Hers. All (and that’s a heck of a lot of ‘All’) I’ve done is help open Her eyes and make Her self-sufficient and try to let Her know happiness, like I do every/anyone else. In that 16 year connection with the ‘Prince of the South’ I asked for and got only one thing even though I had nothing – a hug. One hug, and a short one at that despite all the pain/love/separation. You all know that. The wife he chose demanded and got and gets everything and rubs it in/lauds/lords it over everyone, even him; poor b*stard is beyond sick of his position, he’d run [away with me if he had that as an option] if he didn’t have children. Oh well. I don’t even need to punish him, although… And you and those with you have the audacity to use that hug in my face in another scenario to devalue me and promote yourselves? You know, she’s like you, a grasper and very, very stupid.
I don’t want, need or desire you. Even in the ‘hug’ ritual you’ve started the ‘soon-to-be-or-not-to-be-inducted/initiated’ has to be rejected and then claim they want the Prince via free well – how very masonic. I’m the wanted, needed and desired, bloody typical. No matter how many ‘hugs’ you get, they mean nothing, they are nothing, empty, invalid; there’s no love, permission, association or approval there, it’s all fake. Don’t bother me again. Don’t even talk to the hand, it’s too good for you, I wouldn’t want to waste water washing it afterwards.
You are not victory. Those days are over, they weren’t even valid though it was real for everybody who went through it. Get a grip and wake up, don’t enjoy the sleep/dream/nightmare let alone crave it because you’ve
little to nothing else. Day to day continues, get used to it, it’s getting rough in this part of space/the ‘sea’/’ocean’ with the ‘ship/vehicle’, home and the rest of them closing in.