Pursuing natural health & thinking beyond the superficial. Deconstructing Culture.

If the people on Ciao including but not limited to thedevilinme (reviews & dreams), 1st2thebar (reviews & dreams), celticsoulsister (reviews & telling even more than known), sirjoseph (reviews & dreams), sirrodar (reviews), bettyboo47 (reviews), sellerlygirl (reviews), rolandrat (reviews), eve6kicksass (personal), livemusicloverlyn (reviews), catsholiday (reviews), RICHADA (dream) and others but especially thedevilinme, celticsoulsister and 1st2thebar want ‘William [Defoe]’ et al they can have it/them with my blessing. Particularly the jealous female and those who’ve followed and even enjoyed my suffering (and those I care for affected) like entertainment and addiction, they can learn what it feels like to have a 24/7 ‘other’ “ostensible” “husband/mate” or whatever role it/they choose which never lets up not even for a minute no matter where you go, what you’re doing or who you’re with making you feel like and even see your ‘third eye’ being pulled out of your head and glowing so bright it’s like a flashing beacon (where the crown chakra purportedly is), players piggybacking and claiming to send messages through you in trance/meditation and unconscious states, draining your electromagnetic energy (and energy in general) so you can’t even see your ‘aura’ and/or it changes colour, simulated waterboarding, nerve control, shocking, inducing physical pain, telling you it hates it when you write/tattle and “drown [then]” and your legs suddenly collapse and you have to really force mind over matter to stay conscious, pushing/breaking you to desperation as much as possible like chopping your hair off and basically taking every skill, crutch and comfort you have in existence. There’s two that broke the “Silence is Golden” rule, why should that just apply to me when I’ve never even been a member of anything? Ironically the first time I heard a voice was whilst writing a Current Issue competition review on there and it told me to stop taking so long editing my entry, 1 year before ‘William’ et al turned up, I thought it was a human using technology at the time and it may have been (like the man with the heart rate monitor outside my bedroom window when I went to sleep at another caravan park we were staying at and when Mum saw him he exclaimed “oh shit” and ran inside, moving out a couple of days later) but either way I don’t deserve any of it.

One of the storylines I’ve been told in the ‘William’ era entailed the players (I’m not a player) finding targets and using targets to find other targets. Players play every angle so whether they pretend to be on your side or not and switch throughout, they’re still playing but it’s not a game it’s a hunt.

It’s always been obsessed with the bathroom and getting changed but in the last few days it’s been obsessed with mind reading and focusing on my body (especially the genitalia and breasts) but really focusing on my body and what I’m thinking and feeling (my feelings both emotionally and about my body). It’s both attacking me and pretending to be me talking to me and itself as if we’re one.

It still unnerves me, I just can’t understand why or how ppl/people/others can do this, anything like this to anyone/thing although I’ve always known and I still shed tears for it/them as well as myself and every other victim I can think of, I still try to see everybody’s side and I hate that characteristic now though it’s who I am. Some people, watchers, researchers/experimenters, invokers and other interested parties find this shit funny. I don’t have to walk miles in another’s shoes to try and discern and understand, it’s definitely the turn of those who participate, perpetuate, quietly know about/hide, enable and support this to know what this feels like.

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