Pursuing natural health & thinking beyond the superficial. Deconstructing Culture.

Posts tagged ‘Health’

People with ‘Mental Health’ Deserve the Right to Euthanasia and Patient Assisted Suicide too, not just ‘Physically/Terminally Ill’ People

People with ‘Mental Health’ Deserve the Right to Euthanasia and Patient Assisted Suicide Too, Not Just ‘Physically/Terminally Ill’ People

I used to hear automatic words, mostly God names and certain people’s names on loop and I used to feel like I was under threat, like something bad would happen, that they would make fears or make the fears I had happen. This happened for years, I learned to fight it back by forcing myself to breathe deeply and trying to think about something else. They weren’t necessarily panic attacks because they could last for days at a time. It would become a physical pressure. There was a couple of times when I was making a sandwich and all of a sudden I’d be pointing the knife at my heart and almost daring myself to kill myself and feeling my arm pushing towards me, something telling me (not in words but just a feeling) that I was wrong, bad, guilty, a failure, a shame, worthless, no good at anything and should be dead. Those occasions didn’t last long but I’d be crying and fighting my arm and this strange sudden consciousness to pull back and leave me alone. They were traumatic.

Obviously in the last 16 months this has become full blown voice hearing and hallucinations. Overall in the long run I’m not getting any better and all of the practices I’ve learned and keep learning to help are simply temporary fixes that the older I get don’t last long, at this point in my life they only last 2 days max. But I still try, why? Because there’s euthanasia and patient assisted suicide aren’t legal in this country. I’m pretty much over the whole I need to protect and look after those I love and feel obligated to, I’ve had enough and need to rest in peace.

I hear my own voice played at me loudly like a tape recorder but I’m not allowed to think in it, when I try to think I’m silenced.

I’m tired of being “inspirational” to people as I was told today and providing coping strategies because I’ve tried and developed so many, I manage to touch people and give them renewed energy but there’s no fix for me. I’m not sick of helping others, I’m sick of being sick. I’ve been ill probably my entire life, obviously since I was 12 but likely beforehand given the major hair and memory loss between the ages 5-10. It just gets worse, today I ate a meal and it became the body of my best friend, my dead best friend. Then it was put inside me and vomited out (if it’s not put in one orifice then its put in another if not all of them), that was after seeing him hacked to death once again and again and again (and his orifices aren’t safe either).

In the last 16 months it’s like I’ve been internally explaining to a child the risks of every day of everyday things like ‘be careful of this, that does that, this does this’ etc but because this ‘child’ is a cruel, nasty, evil thing disguised as a child (group of them actually with ugly faces and mannerisms) instead of knowing these every day things as low risk or unlikely, they’ve become risks that shouldn’t have to be. Just being careful and knowing with gentle guidance isn’t enough, I can’t even touch some things/others anymore such as sharp objects, instead of being able to look at the toilet I’ve been made to ‘want’ to stick my head in there and eat the contents. I hate my condition. I hate being called a whore and beggar all day. I hate everything about it, there’s no redeeming or easy to manage features at all. Everything has become a disgusting risk that I have to take too seriously.

There’s no end in sight.

And then if/when I get ‘better’ how much possibility will there be of a relapse? That it’ll hit me when I least expect it and damage me even worse?

I want retribution on these ‘voices/characters’ but I can’t access them and I probably wouldn’t want to, I’d need someone to do that for me, but how can retribution or even revenge even be gotten on such ‘things’ especially if they’re not real. I didn’t choose to be born like this, for these things to happen, I didn’t have any real opportunities no matter how many I tried to make and pursue, there’s always been trauma and too much to deal with, why should I have to live let alone like this?

It’s not just the ‘mentally ill’ either, no one ever asks what about the abused, raped, prostituted, molested, violated, beaten, slaves, other trauma experienced people? What if they say “I’ve just had enough?”

Let us die in peace, legally, without pain/difficulty, without recourse to those who may have helped or known about it, and cheaply for goodness sake.


Dinner of the Day

(We had some pilau rice we made before this and used the leftover to go with these dishes.)

Tofu Tomato bean Soup Marrow Spinach

From left to right:

Fried tofu with kala jeera (Black cumin), garlic, ginger and chilli flakes.

Fried potal (mini marrows) and aubergines

Tomato, hazelnut milk and barlotti and haricot bean soup (dried beans soaked/simmered beforehand because they make their own delicious broth which you can keep adding water to to make more in contrast to tinned beans).

Fried spinach, celery and chilli sauce.

And basically all the usual oils (coconut, sesame, poppyseed, mustard, olive), herbs and lemon were used.


Current and Retrospective ‘Dinners of the Days’

Dinner (or Meal) Of The Day (instead of OOTD Outfit of The Day or WIWT What I Wore Today:P )

Mum is so awesome:

Vegetable (including tofu) vermicelli (rice noodles, not the glassy ones)

Vegetable (including tofu) vermicelli (rice noodles, not the glassy ones)

Rice tofu curry Quorn

Rice and tofu curry, and Quorn curry (the smaller dark Reddish one)

I am so lucky 😀


Drinking Straight from the [Young] Coconut!

Ever tried drinking from a fresh coconut? I don’t mean a ripe one with the husk, I mean a young Green one to get the coconut ‘water’/juice. You may have tried it in a tropical country and there’s nothing like it when it comes to imports. You can easily pay upto £4 per litre in the UK depending on the brand but when usually they had additives like refined sugar or the ‘pure’ ones aren’t sweet enough and have an ‘acquired taste’. That’s not a problem when it’s fresh, it’s pure, sweet, thirst quenching and so good for you. (You can also eat the flesh.)

Young Coconut Water Juice

Yum! 😀


Nice & Simple Fried Plantain

Plantain Cacao Nibs Fruit Spread Vegan Snack Breakfast Lunch Dessert

I love plantain; I usually love plantain ‘chips’ i.e. chunky crisps but those aren’t as healthy. With these you basically just slice a plantain or few and quick fry them on high heat (quick and high otherwise they get sticky and too soft) in a complimentary oil like coconut, safflower or grapeseed, and that’s it 😀

I served mine with cacao nibs and 100% fruit spread (not jam because those usually contain approx only 30-45% fruit, the rest refined sugar and other nasties).

These are so tasty but also filling so I can’t actually overeat them.

Hope you liked this quick and simple recipe! 🙂


P3 – No not Charmed but still charming Pizza (Post 3)

It’s turning into a pizza collection!

So I’ve shown you how to make a single pita or tortilla wrap bread pizza (remember chapatis or any flatbreads count too), a double and now here’s a tiple for the third pizza post 😀

I can’t promise Mum won’t try a quadruple but it’s basically the same premise… For now 😉


  • 3 x wholemeal tortilla wrap breads,
  • Tomatoes,
  • Broccoli,
  • Cauliflower,
  • Green bell pepper,

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Pitta Pita Flatbread Tortilla Wrap Plant Based Recipe Food

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Pitta Pita Flatbread Tortilla Wrap Plant Based Recipe Food

  • Green beans,
  • Yellow bell pepper,
  • Red onion,
  • Green Chillies,
  • Fresh Garlic
  • Fresh Ginger
  • Himalayan Salt
  • Poppyseed Oil
  • Parsley
Vegetable Vegan Pizza Pitta Pita Flatbread Tortilla Wrap Plant Based Recipe Food

Looks a bit like a forest or a jungle doesn’t it 😛

  • Turmeric powder
  • Two types of vegan cheese

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Pitta Pita Flatbread Tortilla Wrap Plant Based Recipe Food

To finish – a dash of lemon juice and humous over the cooked pizza (and I had some olives on the side).

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Pitta Pita Flatbread Tortilla Wrap Plant Based Recipe Food

It’s like a volcano!

(Do you think Pru, Piper, Phoebe and Paige would approve? Would Piper serve these at P3 :mrgreen: )

Charmed TV Show Sisters


Pizza Mania – This time a double!

Yesterday I wrote a pizza post which I enjoyed thoroughly and for your viewing pleasure today is another!

– Two wholemeal bread wraps,
– Tomatoes and Avocado,
– Green beans,
– Broccoli,
– Lady fingers,
– Green bell pepper,
– Red onion
– Green Chillies,

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Healthy

– Turmeric powder
– Garlic powder
– Ginger powder
– Himalayan Salt
– Poppyseed Oil

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Healthy

– Three types of vegan cheese (these are solid cheeses but you can also use cream cheeses or after cooking add yeast flakes instead)
– Coriander

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Healthy

End product! Finis!

Vegetable Vegan Pizza Healthy

The ‘cheese’ is so addictive!

This tasted absolutely amazing, far better than any shop pizza I’ve ever tasted! 😀


Pizza with pizzazz!

Here’s another one of my perfect Mum’s perfect creations: vegan pizza!

We’ve been pitta pizzas for ages in all sorts of combinations but for some reason hadn’t in a while until…

Homemade Pizza, Vegan, Vegan Friendly, Vegetables

Note that there’s no need for cheese, vegan or otherwise. The mango was for dessert.

– Large round pitta bread, two wraps or homemade version flatbread.
– Tomato passata is best but tinned tomato or fresh tomatoes work just as well for the base (Mum doesn’t always use a base because of the spice and oil on top of everything which sinks through in the cooking).
– Fried aubergines (fried them separately, aubergine skin has a lot of oil in it so we don’t usually add any for that, just keep the temperature low enough to fry gently.)
– Bell pepper; Green, Red, Orange or Yellow
– Mushrooms
– Red onion
– Turmeric
– Fresh garlic
– Fresh ginger
– Papaya seeds
– Chilli
– Olive oil drizzled over the top
– Fresh coriander and dill after cooking as seasoning (and massive health benefits obviously 🙂 )

Once you’ve got everything you want on there that needs cooking place in the grill on high for approx 10-15 minutes. If you’re using an oven you’ll have to experiment.

Tips: We’ve made many variations over the years from simple homemade baked beans (cannelleni beans in tomato sauce, paprika, rock salt and unrefined sugar) and pineapple with cayenne pepper or chilli sauce to more traditional like the one above to my more interesting concoctions e.g. green lentils as a base, almost any other savoury toppings including sprouted beans and vegan mozzarella.

Vegan pizza is great (just make sure your bread is vegan friendly e.g. no tartaric acid or cream of tartar – very common ingredients, and gluten free for those that need it) and so addictive without all the additives! Have a go and have fun!


Super Squash Stew!

squash stew soup vegan recipe cooking

So, yesterday Mum made some awesome squash stew and here’s how she did it:

Ingredients (quantities depend on your taste)
– 1x small-medium squash
– Fresh homemade nut milk
– Fresh homemade nut ‘okara’ (okara is a leftover from the sieving/grinding of soy beans to milk but I’m using it here to describe the same for nut milk)
– The ‘cream’/thick bit left over at the bottom of the milk
– Mustard oil
– 1/2 a lime (the juice)
– Fresh garlic
– Fresh ginger
– Turmeric powder
– Himalayan salt
– 2x Fresh Green chillis
– Fresh parsley (added at the end as a seasoning)

squash stew soup vegan recipe cooking

Served with tomato and onion salad, and strawberries for dessert.

Mum’s tip: Remember if you want a soup and not a stew (chunky soup) just blend all the ingredients together with a blender before of after cooking, or use a hand blender once everything is cooked and most importantly once the squash is softened. If you’re makeshifting i.e. don’t have either blender, there’s a masher and/or whisk (don’t worry, we makeshift all the time!)

Enjoy! 😀


Deformed Babies in India

When Mum tells me about an ‘out of the ordinary’ physical birth defect the conversation tends to go like this:

“There’s a baby with 3 arms”
“Is it in India?”

“There’s a baby with 4 arms”
“Is it in India?”

“There’s a baby with one eye”
“Is it in India?”

“There’s a conjoined baby with too few/many limbs”
“Is it in India?”

“There’s a baby with a tail”
“Is it in India?”

“There’s a baby with a trunk”
“Is it in India?”

You get the picture.

And most recently:

“There was a baby with half a head”
“Was it in India?”

That makes me sound like I’m stereotyping, birth defects aren’t always in India but they often are.

This really worries me and what pisses me off is that it’s always initially at least blamed on the mother’s diet. It gives the picture of seriously ignorant people which is easily compounded with poverty and there’s a hell of a lot of poverty there, but not necessarily stupidity – not when it comes to diet and strength anyway. These are people (women) who get up at the crack of dawn to start cooking and many are almost cooking all day for large families, cooking from scratch – lot’s of vegetables and fresh food. These are people who when they’re old can easily do physical labour that younger people here in the West couldn’t. I realize that no matter how many vegetables a pregnant woman eats it’s still not considered enough folic acid but seriously, for those that do have enough food their diets are not as unhealthy, overly processed and lacking in nutrition as the Western diet (which is unfortunately fast spreading there and they’ve already suffered the effects of GM food in terms of lack of repeat harvests at least). Blaming it on the mother’s diet is another blow on top of what these women and their suffering infants (who generally die quickly after birth) go through – these aren’t people who don’t know what ultrasound scans are but apparently these ancient people don’t know how to have healthy babies even though they’ve already gone through the ‘survival of the fittest – evolution’ bit. They have doctors, a lot of doctors, being a doctor is one of the most prestigious things there, everybody wants their child to be a doctor (they still do over here too). The problem is so many doctors claim the babies are born that way and they didn’t know beforehand and then blame it on the mother. However, we’re not talking about village doctors working alone here, we’re talking about clinics and hospitals, and not ramshackle temporary/emergency ones either.

These are also not limited to hereditary or ethnic specific defects.

Sometimes it’s admitted afterwards that there was another cause such as the Bhopal Gas Leak:

At other times the claim of a changeling:

This link (US National Library of Medicine) shows there are many other factors and yet the mother’s diet seems to be the most popular in articles I’ve read over the years:

Bear in mind the born birth defects like Downs Syndrome are also increasing in the West, as well as afterbirth effects like Flat Head Syndrome (though I’ve as yet to come across more literature about it happening in adults, and it does).

It also doesn’t help that these people have been conditioned (externally and by themselves – it’s very easy to brainwash people when they’re willing to do the work of enforcement for you) to ignore the magnitude of knowledge in their religion for the cult of celebrity parts i.e. praising or hating like sports fans the races of divinity and ‘demons’ rather than thinking about all those scriptures of their existence/antics. It’s also common for people to think babies born in a way that taxes their organs too much are godlike, even when they’re healthy the parents are too quick to name them after gods/victors and claim some reflected glory by association. But not everybody thinks it’s a blessing. China being the other country of most population, mass poverty, massive visible and not so easy to hide/dismiss pollution shares one of the attitudes that it’s a curse – and whilst those babies/children live they suffer even more because they’re not cared for.

There’s far too many cases of serious and fatal deformities there.

Anything can be turned into a profit of some kind, it doesn’t always have to be money but it’s not beneath some people to deform children afterbirth to use them for begging or mutilate them if they don’t beg. Akin to prostitution where a child/adult begs for help only to be grassed on by the of course uncaring ‘client’ who doesn’t care about the background of the rape victim as long as there is one at least is not a variety to choose from, if there wasn’t that’d be the problem. Those adults and children (and children who’ve grown into adults living their lives in that situation) are beaten regularly and even moreso if they talk. (Millions of people go missing each year in countries worldwide, not just the ‘third world’ ones, where do they go? And how are they linked to snuff porn?)

The anti-nuclear movement has been gaining more momentum since Japan had more nuclear catastrophe added to their history, but a particular movement in India near the Koodankulam Nuclear Power Plant. From general reading it seems there’s a shared observation that it’s staying power is due to women. Why? Birth defects is a major reason. From the following Friends of the Earth (no I didn’t just look at the obvious people against nuclear energy, when reading up on anything I tend to look at people who are against a movement/theory/issue before the people that support it) link I was reminded of the:

‘…deformed children of Jadugoda town, which hosts India’s 45-year-old uranium mine.’

It wasn’t only children though, people tend to focus on children as if they’re more important than adults or with ‘children are the future’ mindsets instead of focusing on the present, the people of the now and remembering lessons of the past before rushing to the future. Which is why I always say there are plenty of adults who’ve been suffering longer, plenty who started suffering as children too and who lose their ‘care by status’ [best before] dates when they get to certain ages. This post however is about birth defects so I’ve focused on the children but I’ll never stop being concerned about the people left behind, about the young adults and adults – and in this case about the parents, with focus on the mothers being blamed en mass if they survive that is, if they’re died because of pregnancy/childbirth we assume they don’t have to hear the **** poured on them.

Remember that company’s reaction to information about the sick and dying and born sick/dying?

Confronted with reports villages near Uranium Corp. of India Ltd.’s mines have unusually high numbers of physically deformed people, Chairman Diwakar Acharya said: “I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of those guys are imported from elsewhere, ok?”


That brings to mind a film I saw recently dedicated to the people in the endosulfan pesticide spraying tragedy in Kerala:

Many people just don’t care and act like the victims are full of themselves/attention seekers, even those who haven’t been able to speak openly and finally do. Those who get bored of or conversely like the feeling they get from a ‘good story [about the pain of others]’ care when it happens to them/their loved ones though, of course.