Pursuing natural health & thinking beyond the superficial. Deconstructing Culture.

Posts tagged ‘Spirituality’

People with Mental Health Issues are at the Forefront of Self Control

That might be a strange title but people who are aware that they have any kind of ‘mental health’ issue (be it anxiety, depression, stress, cognitive disorder, anti-social, fear of being around others or mixed mental/physical dis-ease) are people who have to face the struggle of gaining or re-gaining self control and to a much more enduring level than ‘regular’ people. (Bear in mind most people will experience mental health ‘deviance’/issues at some point in their lives or at least know someone who will.) This ever increasing number of people are constantly struggling to be in more control of themselves and at peace and positive – ‘peace and positivity’ sounds very zen/yogi doesn’t it? Well it is. Yoga practitioners/healthy living fans are not the only ones trying to achieve self control, mental health sufferers are more on the level of initiates trying to achieve a level that sometimes seems superhuman or divine. Why is that? For sufferers it’s because they’re seen as dangerous or a threat and start believing it themselves with intrusive thoughts and stigma which turns into self-harm and/or introverted-ness, much public perception sees them as linked to criminal behaviour and that’s a common yet extreme stereotype. For spiritual practitioners and religious people who are not Masonic/club members the ethos is that we can’t control our surroundings or society but we can control ourselves and we reach within ourselves to be at peace with the space without. Gaining or re-gaining self-control doesn’t mean that you’re dangerous to society, no one thinks that of priests/equivalent public/civil figures that way until they realize the scale of molestation, punishment and discrimination that goes on in most organized religion not to mention that religion is constantly used as a tool/excuse for resource grabbing and ethnic cleansing i.e. war, they are seen as the forefront of and to spirituality. Gaining or re-gaining self-control just means you’re trying to achieve it consciously rather than unconsciously e.g. trying to modify or get rid of a habit or addiction such as food, smoking or alcohol. But unlike spirituality (‘positive mental health’ where people are happy or comfortable being aware of and perhaps reaching out to people and places we can’t see) people with ‘negative mental health’ (where they’re being overwhelmed) struggle an every day battle with every thing; they might love something/one very much but have horrible thoughts about them or feel propelled to do something they don’t want to do so are constantly fighting it, trying to make peace with it, trying to control the ‘urge’. The point is they know they don’t want the pressure/’desire’ to think/do these possible things and so they’re constantly trying to be stronger to make sure they don’t, perhaps even making it so that they can’t do those things.

Terms I use:

(Obviously ‘mental health’ just means your mental health but it’s become a phrase that mean problems with your mental health and associated with illness.)

Positive ‘mental health’ – people who are ok with being called and/or calling themselves psychic, medium, spiritualist, priest, very religious person (meta-narrative believer), person who hears/feels comforting presences, person who purposely trains/opens themselves up to be aware of more (a part of Hinduism and Buddhism for example).

Negative ‘mental health’ – hear/feels/sees presences and/or thoughts that are not welcome.

Both are the same thing, both are aware of something else or a deeper part of consciousness whether mental, physical or both (imo they’re interconnected, I don’t believe the body is just temporal or merely a ‘suit’, I believe it to very important and capable of memory/consciousness, I don’t think it’s all in the brain where many think the mind is based, I think the mind is all over) but both don’t have the same effects for people.

There’s also the problem of ‘fantasy’ – believing in something that differs from general sensory reality such as believing in miracles and miraculous people/beings in religions or having a psychosis on an individual basis doesn’t mean it’s all fictitious. It’s easy to say ‘oh that’s their belief’ or ‘that’s their psychosis’ and the more time that passes and if the belief system becomes normalized we are able to see it as less threatening (remember when most religions or new branches of religion comes into being there is conflict and usually bloodshed). It’s part of their fantasy, it didn’t really happen, it doesn’t happen, they’re paranoid, susceptible, gullible, open to persuasion, a somnambulist etc. With one label the whole experience can be discredited or made easier to ignore, we assume that we understand their situation because we associate them with the things we’ve come across but that isn’t necessarily fair.

It’s a quandary; public opinion is becoming more informed and slightly more tolerant of people who hear voices for example (and many people do and will hear them at some point in their lives, not constantly but will hear a voice now and then and rationalize it ‘oh I thought I heard something, must have been this or that’, put it down as one of those strange experiences and possibly forget it) so the name ‘schizophrenia’ for example is met with a bit more compassion. However in the medical industry the labels and even diagnosis of ‘schizophrenia’, ‘multiple personality disorder’ and such are being discouraged with the general term ‘psychosis’ preferred partially because there’s so much about the mind and consciousness that we don’t know and that can affect us all in different ways. There are overlying patterns but it has to be seen on a more patient by patient basis rather than a one-size-fits-all model. But the word ‘psychosis’ hits a fear trigger in public, it’s compared with ‘psycho’, ‘socio’, ‘off-kilter’, ‘problem’, ‘dangerous’ etc so there’s a conflict between public and medical/associated institution perception which doesn’t help sufferers. That’s a factor of labeling in general and affects everybody in some way, we all fall into groups and classifications but ‘psychosis’ is pretty controversial in public even if common in healthcare.

I was told specialists that my sympathy and empathy are a ‘gift’, “a really beautiful gift that can’t be developed or learned easily, it’s not a talent in people it’s something you just have or don’t, a beautiful gift” (because I’m an easy crier and very easily relate to people and am able to get them to relate to each other) but when it’s taken advantage of such as in my situation it can be detrimental to me [or/and not to those who’d benefit]. That’s not to say I shouldn’t be but it has taken over. Another told me “what you’re going through is no judgement on you, you have to constantly remember that, it’s not judgement on you, this is not who you are or what you’re like, it shows, it really shows that it’s the opposite of you, these things playing out so horribly shows that you care so much about everybody and everything and that you have so much love.” I innately know that but it means so much to be told. My psychosis takes needing to know that I’m still a good person and a beautiful person, always have been and always will be to another level – it’s such a deep trauma and hurts so badly, like I’ve known nothing but war and home invasion my entire life and I just need respite and my privacy respected and to know that I’m not a bother, a burden nor an embarrassment and I don’t need to be hidden away either. I know how terrible it is for people to feel awful, in so much pain and in practically a merciless/pitiless position over physical beauty and identification let alone how I feel most of the time. This whole situation with ‘William’ (in regards to older blog posts) has made me feel like I need to be reminded that I’m actually a really likable person, I make people laugh, feel better about themselves, I want to know about them, to comfort in a deeply humane way and can easily understand their frustrations and am willing to in the first place. The problem with ‘William’ is that it was a romantic scenario and so has left the usual chasm of needing to be loved/knowing that you’re loveable, that ‘he’ should have loved me but didn’t. Ironically I didn’t need or want it to begin with and then I gave too much and he didn’t actually show me any love me at all, quite the opposite and tried to make it so that I couldn’t talk about what was/is going on. I’ve also been told by specialists that my case is “exceptional” and “extraordinary” (not in a good way), extremely frightening for me but not in a way that reflects badly on myself (something that ‘William’/his ‘people’ have done to/made me feel as if I’m bad, dirty, disgusting, ugly, ignorant, cybernetic/nothing but a tool, a ‘mark’ etc). My case is even harder to explain than ordinarily but not singular in a way that makes me more of a ‘threat’ – as society is led to see us – than one of the many other people in similar undiagnosed ‘psychoses’.

To transition on a slightly satirical note: I recently came across an automated system that asks you “if are terminally ill or have less than 6 months to live please press 1 otherwise please press 2” and in the circumstances it was just so insulting that I had to bitterly laugh and thought “no but I’d like to be so just so I don’t have to put up with this anymore”. That’s no disrespect to the terminally ill or prescribed as close to death but when you’ve got ‘mental health’ (that should actually mean you’ve got good health because you’ve got a healthy mind, our language is backwards because instead it sounds like you’ve got something contagious and bad) you are put behind those with ‘physical [ill] health’ and not seen as as much of a priority though we have similar and the same horror stories about dealing with institutions as those with ‘physical illness’ as a norm plus ‘physical illness’ causes ‘mental illness’ and vice versa. Come on when so much ‘mental health’ leads to self-destructive thoughts and vulnerability aren’t we eligible for the whole ‘living and possibly dying with dignity’ debate as well?

Insanity as a symptom of humanity?


Nepal: It’s now a criminal act to force women into menstruation huts

Source: RT, Thu, 10 Aug 2017 21:28 UTC © Prakash Mathema / AFP

Nepalese women sit by a fire in a chhaupadi hut.

Nepalese women sit by a fire in a chhaupadi hut.

The Nepalese government has made it a criminal act to force women into cowsheds while they’re on their periods. The ancient Hindu tradition sends menstruating females into the sheds to keep so-called “impurity” out of the home.

Although the practice – called ‘chhaupadi’ – was banned by the Supreme Court in 2005, it remains common in Nepal’s remote west.

However, the government has now made the practice a criminal act that could come with jail time.

“The parliament has a passed a new law that makes chhaupadi a criminal act,” lawmaker Krishna Bhakta Pokharel, who headed a parliamentary panel that finalized the legislation, told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

“Anyone forcing women into seclusion during their period can now be sentenced to three months in jail.”

The new law will come into force within a year, according to Pokharel, as authorities want to spread awareness of the legislation before cracking down on offenders.

Some Nepalese communities believe they will fall victim to misfortune such as natural disaster if females are not sent into isolation while menstruating.

However, the practice – which exposes them to rape by men and attacks by wild animals – has led to the deaths of several women.

Just last month, a 19-year-old died from a snake bite while she was staying in a shed in the district of Dailekh. In December, another girl suffocated to death in a poorly-ventilated shed in the Achham district.

[Sott] Comment: Nepali teen dies from snake bite in ‘menstruation hut’

In addition to sending females into isolation, some communities also ban them from drinking milk and feed them less food while they are on their periods.

The law against banishing women to cowsheds has been praised by the National Alliance for Women’s Human Rights Defenders, a local Nepalese activist group, which has called the practice “inhumane.”

The group’s head has called on community members and activists to “remain vigilant and report any case of chhaupadi.”

“Such vigilance will force the government to strictly enforce the law,” Renu Rajbhandari said, as quoted by Reuters.

The ban comes after the United Nations joined up with the youth-led organization Restless Development Nepal in April, in order to push for an end to the practice which the organization said subjects women to “cold and isolation, often at risk of illness and animal attacks.”

The ancient and ongoing demonization of women is something else; I knew females were banned in temples and from even doing home pujas, even touching religious iconography at home but thinking natural disasters occur if they’re not shamed/isolated from the community and basically warning the entire community that they’re on their periods? And from one of the most spiritual places on Earth with some of the most enlightened learning and on the flipside fighting. It just highlights the hypocrisy and elitism of learning of the initiated. Hinduism and it’s later offshoots such as Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism are linked to vast amounts of knowledge on consciousness, how we function biologically, nature, space, how to live etc and yet these places somehow have and still have complete depravity, degradation and domineering behaviours. How are the rest of us supposed to cope if they can’t get it right?

It reminds me of people around the world who used to think it was bad luck to have females aboard a boat and blame misfortune on them and yes it included storms, hurricanes and being sunk. People are insane, what passes for ‘normal’ is based on how many of us are doing the same thing at any given time.


Can I get an Exorcism pt2 – **UPDATED**


So a while back I my fingers started to move on their own, and I said I didn’t want to be a Manchurian Candidate, immediately after I got a “sit tight” followed by a “I’m with you” and then the electroshocking and other ‘punishments’ started and continued.

I’ve finally managed to learn how to ignore the voices even though it’s 24/7 but since it/they know all my thoughts, memories and things I never knew/studied before it’s obviously too much. Tried to get me to throw myself over the balcony last night. Now my limbs are out of my control, it/they moved my left arm earlier to grope my right breast.

I am currently going through an exorcism btw but I really don’t know what to say about it, I’m not a religious person I’m actually very technical and like to research but well; ironically it/they (the voice(s) – master(s) of technical effects like dream imaging and sound effects, well I say masters but one just uses stock images and couldn’t even be bothered to finish one off but when they can rely on your mind/imagination to fill in bits they can be a bit lazy) like that I’m vegan but it/they are trying to get me off that too. Trying to make me the exact opposite of what I am really, Cain and Abel style ‘angel’ and the ‘devil’ on each side but far far more of the ‘devil’ and it’s 24/7 evil. Once the trauma is done (on top of the 24/7 there’s daily ordeals) it’s there, consciously and subconsciously especially as it/they can make me lose my memory of an event a few moments prior and the disgusting dreams, when I’m allowed to sleep of course “we’ll give you a few minutes every _____” style.

I remember when it/they first got in ‘contact’ with me (or I figure they were ‘in’ for much longer or at doing surveillance for a while before talking) for some reason I asked it/them “are you eloheim or nephilim?” A little while later it/they ‘came back’ and said “seraphim” to which I explained they couldn’t possibly be the seraphim because of it’s Indian roots. ‘Angels’ (the generic term for ‘others’ are in my experience nothing but shit, especially the so-called Archangels i.e. Micheal and Gabriel, the only two really established ones but that’s just Christian imitation of older religions and beliefs).

I might sound blasé but this has been going on (consciously) since March and you don’t want to know the amount of strength/energy (and abilities) it’s taken to get this far. No one/nothing should go through this unless of course they’re victimizers and the thing(s) at me just love to act like victims playing every angle and every storyline it/they can think of.

Interestingly enough Italy is being inundated with increasing requests for exorcisms; apparently 500,000 a year or 500,000 (no I can’t be bothered to look it up, can you blame me) on top of the usual and the priests can’t keep up. A joke really since they worship those doing the ‘possessing’.

EDIT 10.11.16 – Reminded of occasions when it/their ‘contact’ felt physical (discounting the ‘out of body’ ones) e.g. the feeling of being lifted approx 1.5inches off the floor (awake, dual consciousness as I call it so ‘there’ and here at the same time and being aware of/’being in both places’ at the same time whilst conscious not a hallucination, being lifted much higher than 1.5in by one of the ‘William’ characters – many playing ‘him’ and I didn’t know it). And another much more recently of another ‘William’ raping me whilst dressed as an eagle (that was following a dream of ‘him’ showing me ‘him’ whispering to a younger female that he was going to rape her all night), I felt the physical shove – ‘him’ pushing against me. There was another before that of a forced ‘kiss’ by another ‘William’ (it/they have 7-9 faces for ‘him’ that I can think of as well as other characters). This thing is evil.

What I think people really need to realize is that we’re asleep for 1/3 of our lives, that’s a huge amount and when we’re awake we’re using approx 30% of our energy on digestion. How much do we really know about ‘others’ and what’s really going on, how much reach does our consciousness and awareness really have? Especially when nightmares become your whole reality.

For me personally I have no foreseeable way out; my consciousness and limited awareness of it is orchestrated and contained, all I can do is keep trying to resist or die and what happens then – will this thing/they get me? What’s scheduled for me? Who knows. I never really cared about the ‘afterlife’ and I still don’t, I’m just generally worried as usual. As for the notion of reincarnation all I knew was that I was ready to retire and I still am  (from what I don’t know, I’m just old and tired).


Angelic is as Angelic Thinks & Does

So today is ‘Be an Angel’ day. I’m not going to go into the origins of the use of angel terminology and depiction, angelic/light beings/deities, species changes etc over time and place but rather just a note on how we view angels today in general in the European colonised parts of world and those incorporating ‘modern’ culture. Although it is important to note that angels in common historical description (including Euro-classical) are often a link, a go-between, like people in a sense they can come in many kinds typically thought of as sentient beings, sometimes acting independently though often as soldiers and sometimes robotic. They can be good, evil or on the fence/just getting on with it/indifferent…

I once saw a strange, Grey cloudy being in the sky
Flying by, flying high
Swift yet graceful, just there in the sky
No one seemed to notice, the shape by on by
No wings but humanoid, smooth like a sigh
The first and only time I saw it, upon high


Once a strange lady sat right next to me, touching but quietly
With expectation she looked at me, waiting silently
“How can I help you?” I asked politely
Silence greeted my reply
“What can I do for you?” lest she didn’t hear me
Again silence met my query
“Hmm” I thought
There was something she wanted to say
“Well what do you want me to do for you?”
“What do you want?”
“If you’re here you already know”
That was all that said and she went away but I knew what she wanted to say.
Our words filled a gap but they were just the tip of tip of the iceberg of feeling.

Sometimes even ‘angels’ (and I personally mean good/really nice beings) need help.

Many of us, myself included, use a lot of words but they’re not always used wisely or with the best intentions. Sometimes you don’t need them at all but they are powerful. They help us feel each other, reach out in this world where it’s so easy to be connected yet disconnected at the same time, to be surrounded yet lonely. To get distracted, frustrated, or even bored in a natural world full of so many mind boggling, awe inducing scenes, detail, delicacy, complex yet simple balance based on giving/needing or unnatural based on supply/demand. We have to use a lot of words to explain things but I do appreciate the strength in simplicity and the power of feeling/understanding in them or other types of communication.

We need words whether said by tongues and/or gestures though sometimes we don’t know what to say. Sometimes what it takes is to stop the soap opera of thought streams, that super highway of lingo & second guessing and look at those around us also struggling with the weight of their thoughts.

If an ‘angel’ (and I personally mean good/really nice being 😉 ) asks you what you need/does you a favour – ask them what they really need/want. It can be surprising and or/painful to be asked, but it’s necessary.

Sometimes angels are made for the circumstances and best to appreciate them before they’re gone. (Significantly this film has no dialogue except in the introduction and haunting song).

And sometimes angels and events are changed to be intentionally misunderstood (major inter/national holidays):

The original book has a slightly different plot. While the first half of the story remains the same, the boy and the snowman do not visit Father Christmas. In fact, all of the Christmas elements of the film were not present in the story. Notably, the boy’s family does not have a Christmas tree in the house. After the snowman comes to life, they proceed to explore the boy’s house. After they see the family car and play with the lights, the boy prepares a feast that the two eat by candlelight. Here the snowman takes the boy outside again, and they begin to fly. Once the boy and the snowman take flight, they only fly as far as the pier seen in the film. They stop there and wait for the sunrise. They hurry back, as the sun is rising, and the boy hurries inside again, like the film. The finale does not show James finding the scarf in his pocket, as they never made the trip to Father Christmas, but he finds the snowman melted in the same fashion.


(Remember when I explained the F.Xmas is based on Mother Time.)

Mum reminded me recently that extremely helpful and plentiful hedgerow plants & fruit grow amongst those that are thorny and grow big and strong such as blackberries and stinging nettles; to protect themselves, those who live amongst them and they help clean the water they come from. Not to mention that they are super nutritious but there’s always burdock nearby to soothe and heal the pain. We have real angels all around us in nature and always have. We just don’t see them properly much of the time as we move past, call them weeds and remove them or build over them. They are persistent though and endure as best they can. For quite some time however it’s been hard to tell between many angels and demons. We can only try our best in the time we have and I mean best by taking off those tinted glasses/mental barriers we all have – and to get a vegan/eco point in there too 😛 remember that if you’re anti-fur don’t be buying those fur makeup brushes 😉

Tomorrow (if we’re still here) is: European Day of Remembrance for Victims of Stalinism and Nazism (though bear in mind politics is a business war game with the same people playing all sides, the obvious bad guys aren’t the only ones and how many people fall in line and do/support their bidding on the propaganda alone. Plenty of those victims have and are a part of races/groups that did/do the same thing. Follow the money/title trails and why industries such as Hollywood were set up and school curriculum orthodox theories taught. Revisionist history thrives, the world wars were obvious culminations which haven’t ended and were already ongoing earlier such as with the extermination of the Cathars & 100 Years War, the ‘Black Death’ and the witch hunts. This world isn’t random, if we can’t tell between angels and demons and in between why not try to be an angel in the modern sense of the word yourself in the meantime.


A Few Thoughts on My Feminism

I’m don’t intend to delve into the types of feminism, the history or the politics, surges and repressions. I’m going to the heart, speaking from the heart without wanting to use cultural extras or the need for validation. I can’t do that without giving observations and experience but I’m going to try not to give specific data on this one and tangent into sub-topics that would need posts all of their own. I’ll likely start and finish with two cultural premises but other than that I really just want to talk about the feeling of feminism here.

To me feminism is innate, a powerful protective wide-sweeping feeling but acknowledging that in time as we know it being born female in many places/times has and is a social disadvantage whether human or non-human, like a group punishment. Some say we’re born into lives we deserve but when I look at societies that says to me ‘if you’ve been bad, then you’re more likely to reborn into this group, that’s where those ones ended up’ – it’s organized which I karma on principle is, but I don’t like it and I think that’s unfair when we’re born without memory and not formed enough i.e. unable to do basic things like walk, run, feed ourselves – things many other animals can very quickly do, not all, but many. Of course animals are included in karma and not all of them are below us in that hierarchy but most are so it’s not fair on any of us in my opinion. I always found karma confusing – if we sinned (and for the sake of argument I’ve used the word sin as if it were something we all or mostly agreed on such as treating others the way we’d like to be treated and actually meaning it rather than ‘one rule for me and mine and it doesn’t matter about you’) in one group why be punished in another group? How can one group be kept as superior to another if its own members are sinning and then are taken to another group to be punished, that looks like fiddling the stats to me and distracting from the causes and ideas behind what would make them superior/inferior. Who/whatever’s in charge of that one could easily say ‘that so and so pissed me off so I’ll make them into one of those to punish them and make it look like the group they came from is clean.’ Ok ok so I know that the response to that is if they hurt somebody in another group they should be a member of that group to find out how it feels, I get that and I can understand the feeling that needs to make them know what they’ve done to others but what it results in is a punishment group, a principle some religions/systems don’t deny although seek to enforce with tales from supposed common ancestor(s) and negates the question ‘what if they weren’t from that common ancestor but ended up in that punishment group?’ That makes it look like they’re at fault because of the common ancestor rather than their own past behaviour – again glossing over the non-punishment group(s). Another thing it doesn’t account for are all the sins people commit to those within their own group/ings. Somehow I don’t think that a universal or Earth bound system of punishment and reward would be so hugely remiss, that sounds more like person thinking to me, not the amazingly intricate yet works style of nature that somehow doesn’t include humans to many people – a sort of disconnection.

I am a feminist and the other ‘ists’/anti-prejudices when it comes to social inequality. The term has always been taboo, even I feel awkward saying it sometimes which I think is a shame, and unlike the other anti-prejudice titles has up until recently carried an expectation that only females can really be called feminists even though everyone can subscribe to other titles whether they apply to them or not. There are of course exceptions but I’m talking generally. Another recent change seems to be a backlash to that decrease in expectation; usually the women against it just say they’re against feminism but now there’s a collective called ‘womenagainstfeminism’ and dismissing all feminism/feminists as ‘feminazis’ which I think is a totally ungrateful term, a slap in the face of all that’s been done for us when push comes to shove, reminding me of the use of a certain racial terms that later generations use comfortably but deeply upsets those who remember what it was like and those who still suffer.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean I have an ‘us vs them’ agenda. There’s always a ton of that going around in society as it is. It means I care whether I want to or not, whether it’s personal or not, I care and I care a lot.

It is my composition, my nature. It’s not just a philosophical issue that can be debated back and forth on its uses, merits, place in society like a tool. Others use and see it that way, I don’t. To me it’s a real, raw, for lack of a better word ‘thing’. The battles and wars we face are still going.

Like many people I’ve come across open enough to admit it or where it’s obvious, I don’t like most people, men or women. I care for them fiercely but I don’t like most that I’ve met or learned about. Heck the same applies to non-human animals as I’ve said before who I marginally prefer to people in that they’re more vulnerable as a group even though they include so many more species with so many differences but are compared in a lump against humans, but I’m still vegan. Many people see veganism as a humungous lifestyle change (though it’s not hard once we accept its mostly about mental barriers) so why would I do it when I didn’t know it would be so easy for me if I didn’t care. I didn’t do it for personal gain, other than personal health there’s little direct personal benefit from it other than knowing the Earth/animals have suffered a little less and that counts but it’s not directly personal. It’s something that needs masses to participate in for communal benefit to make a noticeable impact that we in general as beings on Earth can see and directly feel better for. I’m enough of a realist to say that won’t happen but it doesn’t stop me.

Not liking a lot or most people isn’t uncommon (except the caring deeply part) for most people I’ve met who just want to get along with ‘business of life’. Most of their person-to-person connections don’t make their personal bubble and they either dislike many around them greatly or ignore/try not to make opinions with weight about them because they don’t really matter to their personal circle, they can publicly tolerate them and that’s what matters. That or be ‘frenemies’. I’ve said for a long time that I think many women are just men dressed as women/in women’s skin. That’s phraseology and not necessarily literal, it doesn’t mean that men/women are different in terms of personality. It does have a number of reasons e.g. having to conform to character types to succeed in types of occupation and of course that implies an acceptance of cultural constructs on gender based on sex, which I don’t. It’s hard to explain as it also involves a sort of difference in feminism, physical and metaphysical where physically on the outside if you’re female there’s likelihood of disadvantage in society or at the very least social perceptions/bias whether they manifest into prejudice or not they still hold underlying influence. As a collective that hasn’t changed much over time as we acknowledge it, and change hasn’t happened fast or easily. Metaphysically there’s a sort or division between being female and being feminine, something more to do with how I consider original/natural being rather than but including the cultural constructs of gender based on sex. Put it this way even though I can see groups are treated according to likenesses and differences I wouldn’t say I trust a woman over a man because she’s a woman. I would call that just as dismissive and distracting as calling feminism ‘man bashing’. Just like because I’m never been racist doesn’t mean I support Obama or the use of a Black police figurehead in the tactical change over at Ferguson Missouri recently which distracts from what the protestors (not including the vandals/looters whose origin and motivations are ambiguous) are protesting about, how they’ve been treated and the ‘weirdness’ of choosing who gets arrested and why. Anyway going off topic and specific, trying to write about the feeling of feminism or anything without examples and sidetracking whilst trying to stay on track/remember the point is difficult.

I get on better with women and older men but find I get used for my strength/energy/vitality and when I feel fatigued they scorn/get bored. When in groups rather than one-on-one I find we can get along very well once they get comfortable they then ‘tolerate’ me and start concocting caricatures of themselves based on what I had/gave to the group. Each time it turns out that they whilst I was very interested in their stories/life experience they never really shared my ideals or wanted to be the best people we could be (which is pretty much what has motivated my life so my interests revolve around that quite a bit) which involves consistent evaluation/improvement until as original/ideal as possible or at least anywhere near in the circumstances. They do however see and like my drive and work standards and for that purpose can be nice. Each time they wanted me for my know-how to change a system so they could be successful and once successful they didn’t need me any more (let alone think about sharing the success). Most actually wanted to be on a level which whilst not on it would criticize it but were really admiring and inspired by the glamour/wealth/prosperity and would sound nice or make token gestures but it’s mainly PR. Whereas I would be earning the least, still paying out everything necessary, looking after those close to me and giving ¼ to charity (an old Hindu way of thinking that I took to heart though I’m not Hindu). I have nothing of value to those except when they need me to get them out of/through a situation they’ve made or exacerbated. Yet before mixing with others and I say ‘others’ rather than ‘them’ because it happens to me so often. When more of a reserved person I flourish and when mixing it’s like they do magic and reduce me or just end up better off perhaps saying ‘Sorry Dolly’ if I’m lucky and then they continue with the ‘business of living’. I don’t usually talk about about negative personal experience, listeners/readers tend to find it offputting, self-focused and pretentious but I thought it necessary to show that I could easily look at experience and stop being feminist. But it’s about more than my experience, it’s about everybody/’thing’s’ experience and ultimate Earth, even beyond.

Unfortunately I don’t tend to get on as well with people closer to my age because we don’t often share the same/similar interests, even if we do it’s usually limited and I find myself being accessible to their schedules and ideas but if I want to try something/go somewhere I always have to schedule long in advance if they’re interested at all. I become ‘good old Dolly’ who they know they can depend on and will contact if other more interesting things/people are lacking or they want a change from routine. (I’m sure a lot of people have reasons to blame me for that but chivalrous and polite in general even to people I dislike much of the time – a characteristic I don’t like. I figure it’s best to be good to people not necessarily nice but good though as soon as I see others I smile at them and as soon as my mouth opens I’m being self-deprecating and courteous. It takes time and reminding myself to push certain people away.) I know many people say ‘fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me’ but at least I’m not the one who orchestrates relationships. All of us, no matter how intellectual or intelligent or both can be fooled even to chain like and massive degrees. I’m a feminist but that doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to the point that in so bloody long the ongoing oppression and degradation of such a massive and inclusive group (i.e. women and men are two very groupings made up of members of all the other groups including other species) who hence as a whole know what inequality feels from many group prejudices, can’t happen without sell-outs, enough internal/external support and a degree of acceptance/complacency (many reasons for but not all sympathetic).

As I’ve said on my ‘About little ol’ me?’ page the arguments are similar for the major socially disadvantaged groups just the faces/names change but to have managed to degrade half the planet is insane. Then to keep it so and have so little and such painfully slow progress if any (there is much more the world than the ‘modern’ parts) is almost inconceivable if it weren’t true. Even in the so-called modern parts women are still paid less for the same jobs, a scary percentage of people in national surveys (even in more ‘open’ and sexually inhibited places) blame the victim (made up of mainly women and children) in sex abuse. I heard about one judge recently claiming a young girl was to blame, making the man rape her and then people think we’re so advanced yet there’s MPs and other professionals in authoritative positions such as psychiatrists wanting the age of consent lowered to 12. Although if they go further to claim the onset of puberty it could be approx 9 years old with menstruation. Not so far off from what many think of as barbarians a bit more in the East eh? (Heck a can of worms opened with the Jimmy Saville case and so-called pillars and beloved faces of society on a rampant, institutionalised scale and that is just looking at a tiny timeframe in the not so distant past!)

So no I’m not likely to be an anti-feminist, sit on the fence or not be concerned, feminism was the first ‘ism’ I ever felt/got into and yet at the same time I was arguing about why donating, trying to help individual people (children and adults) in impoverished, warn torn, disease ridden places was not a question of ‘why bother? Why save only 1? They’ll likely die anyway’. (Obviously now I’m older I realize that if donating you have to look into the financial/political actions of charities.) I was 8-9, my counter/opposition was 30-something. If I’d had that conversation today I’d add things I hadn’t realized or been able to fully comprehend and they are obvious feminist points:

“When you see the masses and masses of impoverished people in ‘developing/third world countries’ do you think all those girls and young women want to be like the older women they see making children they can’t feed, seeing and suffering with them listening to the cries or their quiet hunger and sickness? Let alone continually risking their lives/health and watching many children and peers die?”

“Endless amounts of street children trying to survive and/or waiting to ‘til they die? Thinking ‘this is life’ or ‘this is all there is.’ They think they have to have sex, to go along with many males think is their right. All are suffering, children are both male and female but ‘shit travels downhill’ and frustration of one group is put upon/done the same to the next group down the ladder. E.g. the middle to the lower classes, working to not working, getting angry at work and taking on those at home or vice versa if one is the boss, men to women, hetero to other orientations, adults to children, child bullies to weaker or quieter kids, humans to animals/the environment. Pretty soon it turns into or reduces to predator/prey/victimiser/victim/master/slave and that is not right or healthy.”

“Females have always had a harder time achieving the respect of NO whether it’s said or not, obviously thought or not. When they think it’s duty, even if they’re not sure or enthusiastic they mainly go along and try their best. The onus and responsibility for sex and ‘getting pregnant’ as if they did it asexually is mostly on them. It is they who have to take action one way or another because once at that stage they have no choice to ignore it. If/when they can as an individual or group communicate that they should have a choice or ‘no’, it’s a long hard struggle to take affect; so many give up and others fall further to/into religion telling them it’s part of life/expected. Where can they turn for support when they can’t depend on each other or the superimposed God(s) over their local deities which included strong, wild, freer female spirits and Goddess(es) as well as the nurturing, gentle and playful characteristics.”

“The modern interpretation of ‘emancipation’ has made or pushes women into being ‘goddesses’ when they’re not but are confronted with superwomen in the media and even more pressure to be everything and not just to cope but excel in every sphere of modern life; education, family, work, social, personal time, relationships and look great, be fit, youthful and sexy at the same time. All whilst keeping such women accessible to the male audience of whom nowhere near as many are metrosexual or have any desire to be and as such are trained to have higher/more expectations. There are of course superficial women but how often do you notice ‘nice personality’, ‘funny’ or ‘listens’ on guy’s ‘want/babe lists’ of women.”

“What does it matter in the end? What difference will it make? How can you help 1/few if not all you ask? Well I ask: no matter how poor we’ve been or hard we’ve had it, when it never lets up, everytime you’ve had a full bowl or eaten too much because of stress/upset and felt sick, wouldn’t you have preferred or liked to share it with them? With those who need it? A character from the TV show ‘Friends’ called Phoebe once said something about giving/helping being a selfish action, because it makes you feel good. It was popular at the time when I first heard it in a class as an argument. I was blank for a moment, ‘huh?’ ‘What does she mean?’ I thought to myself. “That’s not true” I said, “there’s helping out of duty, obligation or simply because it’s the right thing to do.” The teacher looked at me like he finally figured something out about me. I’ve rarely felt self-satisfaction or pleasure from just being me in that regard, it’s natural to want to and actually try to/help, it’s not an extra producing an extra emotion on top of what’s normal. What is happening to them could easily happen to me, we’re not entirely separate, we are bonded and our thoughts and actions effect each other. Whether someone or myself has needed help I’ve rarely felt a thrill from assistance/assistance. Only really ever quiet meaning and/or profound sadness because the situation happened and what they/we went through. Some people are of the opinion that we shouldn’t feel guilt or shame on behalf of others or our ancestors “we didn’t do what they did”, “we didn’t cause this” – didn’t we. Even if not, they’re all too willing to praise, share in the credit/glory of, live vicariously through and encourage familial bond/feeling with positive culture and achievement of others and ancestors.

However, many including those who need help (an ever growing amount locally and afar) don’t feel personal duty let alone theirs/everyone’s social duty so in that case take the scriptwriter’s words for Phoebe. Wouldn’t you like to feel better about yourself, to help yourself, to know you’ve helped someone even a little bit, to brighten their day? Aren’t you nicer to others around you at least when you feel good about yourself? To me that’s not enough, I can’t stop thinking about one act of helping to/for an individual not stopping or fixing our suffering. But in the meantime, whatever it takes within ethical boundaries to make things better at least. Walking past, not seeing and criminalizing the homeless, mutilated pigeons and those generally thought of as ‘vermin’ doesn’t make things better for example. Just carrying around granola or being aware of local shelters/places to sleep does make a difference. What does it matter? It matters to the person who doesn’t have to be as cold/wet or the bird who was dazed that you moved out of the way of traffic. (Many think no one’s watching, to care about what we think/don’t think, do/don’t do yet we’re all watching/feeling. We have a collective memory that can’t be erased, up to the very last blade of grass every experience is ingrained in us.)”

“Who am I to judge? Someone who takes responsibility. I don’t agree with destiny, karma; there’s plenty of people who feel the same but acting for bad (plutocracy, conquering, personal wealth off the backs of others), in recorded history that we have there’s never been enough acting for good.”

You could say I was already disposed to it but feminism allowed me to voice and act/demonstrate my care for everybody/’thing’. It was my source/well of ability to make my branches strong enough to try and support everybody who needed it and to keep doing it because I’m only one person and there’s so many, me included. That said had I started out vegan I think I would have been a lot stronger and more effective help for those who deserved it much faster. It is the whole in one, for Earth, animals (non-human and human) and the self.

Interestingly enough when I was ‘old enough to choose a god for myself’ lol what an idea, some family members – Hindu – walked me through the major ones mainly via depiction but with quick description. I was already aware of the ‘ultimate’ ones to the extent of name & prominence – of course not the back history. But there was only one I was interested in. (One though given acknowledgement, widely treated as a ‘rare rarity’ to the point of myth. Though a myth those who still pray to usually do so out of a desperate need for help or desire to ‘keep appeased, just in case’.) She – and Lalita and Bala two hardly known – predate Hinduism but were absorbed in probably to keep the natives happy as they were from the maa-root culture of Mother/Child (Maid/Daughter)/Dark Mother (Crone).

“Who is that?”

Oh yes, I am a feminist.

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Art from https://www.facebook.com/KaliTheDarkGoddess

To end on a passing thought; according to a modern translation of a version of the ‘Fall of man’ (initially Fall of the Daughter/Maid), if one woman got so intelligent or wise to scare/upset/shake the foundations of that place/society of such powerful beings and their overlord and be condemned to eternal punishment and all her female descendents and other females regardless of fatherhood would suffer the same fate. And all children in general would thereafter have to be cleaned of the sin of being born of a woman who did ‘such a thing’ and then of women in general, all by getting too clever, who/what the heck was she really? We should be grateful she gave us some smarts at least since the God/s of modern and classical religion are notoriously cruel, fickle, vengeful (different from retribution) and have a taste for raping (including rape through deception/trickery or just telling them that’s the way it is/honour) and impregnating children and women (how old was Mary supposed to be, a young teen.) No wonder having sex with minors and ‘adults’ who were children a few days ago was the ‘in-thing’ and/or normal for so long and still going.

She should have eaten as many as she could. I would have taken the lot or as much as I could and fed them to everybody/all the animals and the tree would probably have dropped them on me to give me the idea in the first place 😉 I like trees with personality.

Today is World Humanitarian Day and Savior of the Apple Feast Day.


Cow Appreciation Day – Sacred Significance

Cows represent the giving without taking nature of motherhood, though in practice this has gone too far.

Kamadhenu – कामधेनू (Sanskrit) [from kama desire, wish + dhenu milk cow]

Kamadhenu (Sanskrit: कामधेनु Kāmadhenu), also known as Surabhi (सुरभि Surabhī), is a divine bovine-goddess described in Hindu mythology as the mother of all cows.

Kamadhenu or Kamaduh is the sacred cow, who is regarded as the source of all prosperity in Hinduism. Kamadhenu is regarded as a form of Devi (the Hindu Divine Mother) and is closely related to the fertile Mother Earth (Prithvi), who is often described as a cow in Sanskrit. The sacred cow denotes “purity and non-erotic fertility, … sacrificing and motherly nature, [and] sustenance of human life”.

Kamadhenu, the mother of cattle who is also sometimes described as a Matrika (“mother”) goddess.[3] Other proper names attributed to Kamadhenu are Sabala (“the spotted one”) and Kapila (“the red one”).[4]

The cow symbolizes the dharma itself. It is said to have stood steadily upon the earth with its four feet during the Satyayuga (world’s first age of truth), upon three feet during the Tretayuga (the second stage of less than perfection), upon two feet during the Dwaparayuga (the third stage of dwindling and disappearing perfection) and only on one leg during Kaliyuga (the fourth and current age of decadence).


Note: Remember that part of the meaning of Lalita who is the Divine Mother ‘Devi’ is ‘Red’.

As a form of the Devi she originally had the proper naming style which included one of the Devi’s names, her name originally being Dhenu Ambika (Cow of Ambika – Ambika being a name of Lalita) but as usual over time with streamlining and downgrading the status of the the cow goddess, cows in general and the hiding and replacing of the Divine Mother in the public eye, the name was changed with the Divine Mother’s name removed and the ‘kama’. The name should be Dhenu Ambika. In Bengali the name is Gomata or Gaumata (depending on the dialect/transliteration). Go/Gau-Mata = Cow + Mother, aka Mother Cow.

Cows in general are seen as symbolic or the children of Dhenu Ambika and hence are supposed to be sacred, not prayed to directly but in association with the Divine Mother and her forms.

Dhenu Ambika Gaumata Sacred Divine Cow Mother Goddess
As usual being taken advantage of:

Dhenu Ambika was an amazingly powerful and benevolent being but is pretty much seen as a cornucopia to be taken for granted and used continually like trying to trick a genie in a bottle to constantly grant all wishes and desires. She is an integral part of various religions in various forms which I will outline later on but unfortunately has become ‘the gift that keeps on giving’/being taken from. Typical of the choosing of ‘gods’ and deities to pray to really but given much less respect and homage than the most popular ones people pray to and pray to mostly for reasons of wishing for prosperity, money/wealth, good fortune, fertility and longevity before/over protection, comfort strength, wisdom usually associated with mother goddesses (though the well known, current so-called mother goddesses were/are not directly associated with the Devi, they are replacement consorts for the usurping pantheon).

According to the story of her first known appearance She emerged from the ocean or sea of milk (Kshira-Sagar) an ocean described as made from/under direct jurisdiction of the Moon Cow. She emerged whilst the ‘gods’ and ‘demons’ of the time were playing tug-o-war and churning the ocean desperately trying to get power and be the strongest. The sacred cow appeared and was ‘won’ by the ‘gods’ who then somehow thought they could present her to ‘the seven sages’ and then most notably became the possession of sage Vasishta. The churning of the ocean of milk is described as a cosmic battle hence implying a war in space or other dimension and they were fighting specifically over/for Soma/the elixir of life later known as Ambrosia (there’s actually a dairy brand called Ambrosia).

Note: It is said the ‘gods’/deities were created from/born of the soma – soma being the primordial blood/dark matter hence connected to the Mother Goddess but as shown above also to the ocean of milk. Blood, particularly menstrual blood and milk have a significant correlation (humans are said to be made from moon clay) and the children of it fought for control over it and it’s source the Divine Mother and everything/one directly associated with Her.

Soma was produced by the churning of the primal sea (Kali’s ‘ocean of blood’ or sometimes ‘sea of milk’). Or Soma was secreted by the Moon-Cow. Or Soma was carried in the ‘white pot’ (belly) of Mohini the Enchantress. Or the source of Soma was the moon. Or from Soma all the gods were born. Or Soma was the secret name of the Mother Goddess and the active part of the ‘soul of the world’.


Dhenu Ambika apparently had a daughter called Nandini (the masculanized versions/bulls are currently seen as pets for two of the modern father-trinity and seen as clumsy but powerful comic side-characters) who was also given to a sage to give him and his friends to live off of.

Further on she is described as bearing many golden cows called Kapila cows, who were called the mothers of the world, mother of all cows. The later you go into texts though things get more convoluted which the current high ‘gods’ claiming they made her and other versions who they’ve also called the mother of cows, buffaloes and horses; one even says a supposed lesser creator deity (not of the current faux trinity) made her after he drank soma from the ocean of milk. So where did he get the soma from to make her when it and the milk comes from her? Chicken and egg anyone? The later you go into the ‘stories’ the more and more of her children are given away and used for things people use cows and bulls for including heavy labour/work and battle. Yeah people, giving away and pimping others is not good. Being a parent and/or custodian/guardian/having a ward doesn’t mean ownership over the body/mind/soul of them. Having children or obligations/duties in the forms of dependents is an allowance with limits, something that has been given (or not in many cases in this world where its forced, tricked, expected), some call it a blessing (though there’s division over that between people who think beings on Earth and perhaps elsewhere have been tampered with and those who believe in evolution and/or direct creation via modern religions) and acting like they’re assets/property (the same goes for treating women/wives as something to be owned) is both sacriligeous and unethical.

Biting the hand that feeds, well worse than that actually:

‘Bhumi Devi’ or ‘Mother Earth’ is symbolised as a cow in the Vedic tradition, as just like the earth, the cow is an endless giver of resources and nourishment.

‘The cow is a mother to mankind whom we should love, respect and protect. Her milk sustains the life of many species, including humans. Her dung provides fuel and bricks for millions of rural families across the Asian countries. Her urine is medicine for the sick. When she dies her skin provides us warmth and protection through clothing.’


How convenient.

So the idea of using, abusing, skinning, crushing, siphoning, consuming generally or downgrading by moving the creature away from it’s original self/look by calling it ‘meat’ and eating a symbol of your mother and furthermore the Divine Mother doesn’t make you want to throw up? Cannibalism at it’s ‘best’. I’ve come across quite a few people who can’t cook ‘meat’ themselves, who can’t bring themselves and/or are disgusted/repelled by the look of a carcass and then some of them can’t eat it if still looks like a body part on their plate i.e. they need it carved up for them into slices. If your mind is giving off such strong warning triggers, don’t ignore them.


Cows live anything but a nice life in India let alone the world, even back when Hinduism was the significant majority religion there (and pre-partitioned Bangladesh and Pakistan). Just because we see some wandering about stopping traffic or apparently doing their own thing doesn’t mean much when you think about how much it takes to provide society with what it wants. Any type of farming/cultivation takes an almost incomprehensible amount of space and amount of ‘source item’ e.g. the animal necessary as well as sustenance and output, to produce what people want. Dairy farming like poultry and any other animal farming is horrific, and ‘free range’ is anything but ‘free”. People seem to have fanciful ideas about animals being treated better than humans and making up things like comfortable, air conditioned, constantly fed and attended to transportation and luscious Green fields etc, baby chicks can be sent like any inanimate object in a parcel to small scale/home human breeders/rapists and so many are dead and crushed and the live ones in terrible shape by the time they reach their destination. Whether normal battery style or ‘free’ they are forced to breed over and over until they can’t any more and then their bodies are used for countless bi-products in consumer items and what happens to the male calves? Ha, sold off for beef and the other ‘items’ from their flesh, bones, blood, organs, dung etc that the female cows get sent off for after being thoroughly abused and worn out. Nothing sacred about that. Even ‘family cows’ who’ve done their ‘service’ and die are used as a resource afterwards, anyone else eat and use their family members/pets/friends after death?

Previously and perhaps still in some places oxen and bulls were used as sacrifices to the ‘gods’ and then they were eaten by the people… Yeah… So whilst the males were used to rape cows (as is done world over and for all species in this obsessed ‘buy a baby whenever we feel like it’ for pets and using animals for everything or rape to ‘conserve’ world) they were also sacrificed. So holy and devout. Ritual sacrifice is so damned stupid and twisted, whether it be animal/human or plant – it’s like the question ‘what do you give someone (you like) who has everything?’ The answer to that of course is sincere friendship, commitment, appreciation etc all those nice adjectives – but what do people do? They breed, use and hack down the beloved creations of said creator and offer them up on a plate for the creator to supposedly enjoy and metaphysically feast on before then eating it themselves, heck can’t let it go to waste can they especially once it’s been touched by the ‘god’ damn they’ll get even more blessing out of it then. Like Hindus looking down on thinking of menstruating girls/women as dirty (and not allowed to attend/carry out pujas-prayer rituals/go to temple) yet they’re obsessed with wearing the Red powder on their heads which represents menstrual blood and they particularly covet the statues that apparently ‘bleed’ by themselves.* Sickos and psychos. That’s using the Creator as a fount, not giving thanks or worship but then again the people are just copying (like that’s an excuse) their lesser deities who did/do the exact same thing. Those guys – both the so-called deities and the obvious demons – can even demonstrate extreme devotion and prayer for mind boggling periods of time all for the sake of boons and forgiveness and then turn right round and call themselves all-mighty, the Creator, and go on a rampage. Over and over again. Seriously the Divine Mother has been waaaay too forgiving in his-story/scripture and that’s going back far enough to even really notice Her since history (once the Vedas came into it – the ar*ehole deities got the knowledge/specifics/technical info on creation and life, and made Earth into ‘Hell’/prison planet) does a apt job of hiding, omitting and downgrading Her. The pack mentality behind ritual sacrifice reminds me of pilgrimages – people are apparently on a holy journey to visit special places and show how pure they are or to be cleansed and then what often happens? Stampede. Crushing those ahead, stamping over, pushing/shoving, not giving a damn, being so desperate to touch a building or get near a high up priest is so holy, not.

*Note: Interestingly enough the powders – sindoor (the toxin laden one) and kumkuma (the natural one) are used in the oppression/repression of women of whom many think it traditional and their duty so continue with it. Sindoor is the one traditionally used on women (surprise surprise given the risky ingredients it’s made of) to signify they’ve been bought/sold, sorry ‘married’, and are fertile – full of life and colour. Then if they are widowed (since divorce is sooo unlikely and heck they aren’t really burned alive with the corpse of the husband anymore though many are again sold/married off to the husband next male kin if he had any since it’s awful for a girl/woman to have independence and she’d be seen as a burden on her family otherwise) they go through elaborate rituals to remove the sindoor showing that losing the husband means the girl/woman is now barren and lost her life force (unless the family marry her off again of course, so her vitality is based on their choices). Such women use sindoor everyday and the extra traditional ones also wear a nose ring and toe rings (how much ‘joining’ by marriage symbols do they need – taking it to the point of shackles, seriously it’s not the wife that represents ‘the ball and chain’ and nose rings in this context can be likened to rings unnecessarily put in animal noses so they can be chained). Kumakuma (representing the chakras/energy vortices) however is worn by men and women after attending temple rituals rather than home ones, how ‘lucky’ for the guys.


Just because the Mother/Cow/Earth has so much richness in her being doesn’t mean you’re supposed to take it apart as a resource and make it into a corporation. There’s a difference between being looked after, having what you need, given by the parent and falling into the universal sins of greed, lust, envy, gluttony etc and further being power hungry and addicted. Heck some people drink the blood directly they’re so damned greedy and desperate for what it confers, cow’s blood (and milk) being related to human female blood especially menstrual blood as described HERE in significance.

The lives of the very gods were dependent on the miraculous power of menstrual blood. In Greece it was euphemistically called the “supernatural red wine” given to the gods by Mother Hera in her virgin form, as Hebe. The root myths of Hinduism reveal the nature of this ‘wine’.  At one time all gods recognized the supremacy of the Great Mother, manifesting herself as the spirit of creation (Kali-Maya). She ‘invited them to bath in the bloody flow of her womb and to drink of it; and the gods, in holy communion, drank of the fountain of life — (hic  est sanguis meus!)  — and bathed in it, and rose blessed to the heavens’. To this day, clothes allegedly stained with the GOddess’s menstrual blood are greatly prized as healing charms. W.R. Smith reported that the value of the gum acacia as an amulet “is connected to the idea that it is menstruous blood, i.e., that the tree is a woman.” For religious ceremonies, Australian aborigines painted their sacred stones, churingas, and themselves with red orche, declaring that it was really women’s menstrual blood.

The same elixir of immortality received the name of amrita in Persia. Sometimes it was called the Milk of the Mother Goddess, sometimes a fermented drink, sometimes sacred blood. Always it was associated with the moon. “Dew and rain becoming vegetable sap, sap becoming the milk of the cow, and the milk then becoming converted into blood; — Amrita, water, sap, milk, and blood represent but differing states of the one elixir. The vessel or cup of this immortal fluid is the moon.”


Note: I remember some episodes of ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ in which she fought with one of the Amazons over ambrosia and the ambrosia was shown as Red jelly…

Also hypocritical that the so-called modern divine trinity and their consorts/family are seen as the be all and end all, the top of the Hindu hierarchy yet all the gods are believed to reside in the body of Dhenu Ambika (the ancient Egyptians believed the same and later Greeks continued to as well).

Her four legs are the scriptural Vedas; her horns are the triune gods Brahma (tip), Vishnu (middle) and Shiva (base); her eyes are the sun and moon gods, her shoulders the fire-god Agni and the wind-god Vayu and her legs the Himalayas. Kamadhenu is often depicted in this form in poster art.


Why is that? Because they came from the Mother who is of course greater than them and reside within her cosmic body/space. They did not make Her or Her forms.

Another hypocrisy in modern post-vedic/post-diluvian Hinduism is that Dhenu Ambika is often associated with the Brahmin caste aka priest class, whose wealth she symbolizes. Hmmm. A reason why the streamlined version of Hinduism aka Buddhism (the belief system that egotistical Indian prince spread when he decided things were about to get too tough for him after a lifetime of taking advantage of all his privileges and of which he effectively become god/top of later on) worked/works so well is that it does away with the obvious caste system based on reincarnation. [*1] Brahmins and Brahminis [*2] are not supposed to be wealthy in a material sense yet because of the caste system of which they sit atop – they often are and you don’t get rich by being nice (unless you win the lottery) let alone stay rich enough to keep it in a family/obsession with longevity and the descendents of course get less and less visually pious. A whole caste is made up of much more than the poor priests who walk around with the clothes on their back, a walking stick and a food bowl.

*1 – Reincarnation also being a ‘modern’ construct, an excuse for life being made so shitty here and a reason for well off people to tell others they haven’t earned better. It’s also the lack of explanation for what death really is, particularly difficult to explain in virtual reality, so instead we have a soul society who get recycled.
– in the reincarnation system being born as a cow is seen as one of the highest, most sacred levels. The cow is also a symbol of enlightenment in Buddhism. But as anything connected to the Divine Mother it’s desecrated in ‘real’ life.
*2 – lady priests who we barely ever see/hear of nowadays – most female yogis/gurus we see in the West are White women who’ve converted to Sikhism through yoga mind/body/spirit practice which is Hindu anyway, Sikhism being a very young religion.

Cows were often gifted to Brahmins and like ‘cattle’ in general were/are seen as stock/assets (heck we’re all seen as livestock on this planet and numbers or ‘useless eaters’/consumers) and milk/milk products (milk, curds, ghee/butter), urine and dung are used for pujas – this is apparently seen as pure, good and prosperous for the family. The products of forcing the family cow to pregnancy over and over is seen as a good, holy, wealth aka ‘happiness’ giving thing. Of course to keep this practice is maintained as pujas and sacrifice cannot technically be carried out without milk products – vicious cycle.

Cows are ‘given’ a one day holiday every year – the ‘pet’/family used and small scale owned ones anyway, do you honestly think the big farmers/traders/companies would lose precious profit doing so other than perhaps a token one or few for show – where the cows are washed and decorated (how nice for them) in temples and given offerings for the wish of them continuing to produce. Twisted much? They’re not even giving thanks/appreciation for the cows, they’re bloody hoping for more to come, like they’re not going to force it anyway – they’re really celebrating their own behaviour and hoping to continue getting away with/doing it. And one day off a year!?! Ha and I thought modern working annual leave was stingy. Hence I’m not writing in regards to that celebration which is scheduled for Halloween this year in line with Divali, I’m writing today as it’s world Cow Appreciation Day.

This is a Mantra recited in praise of Gomata.

Gomata Mantra
Sarvakaamdudhe devi sarvatithirbhishechini l
Pavane surbhi shreshte devi tubhyam namostute ll

गोमाता मंत्र
सर्वकामदुधे देवि सर्वतीर्थीभिषेचिनि ll
पावने सुरभि श्रेष्ठे देवि तुभ्यं नमोस्तुते ll

Sacred Cows In Various Cultures:


Hathor Divine Cow Sky Mily Way Goddess

Hathor Divine Cow Sky Milky Way Goddess

Also Hathor

The most famously known is Hathor, a goddess of many forms and directly connected to Isis, Inanna, Astarte and of of course Dark Mother Kali.

Hathor was often shown in cow form or like Isis depicted with cow horns on her crown (the horns also representing the crescent moon and menstrual blood) and sun disk in the centre. She is also associated with the constellation Taurus. She is known as the Divine Sky Cow. Her form Hesat is her earthly manifestation. As Hesat she carried and nourished the ‘gods’ from wet-nursing/mothering to everything else they considered nourishment and her milk was said to be the ‘beer of Hesat’ (note the blood-milk-soma-ambrosia-mead connection).

Hathor comes from the earlier ‘Mht wrt’ (meaning ‘Great Flood’ – ancient Egyptian doesn’t have vowels, it’s a guttural ‘dead language’ that we can only guess how it was spoken) who was a cow mother goddess.

Another early cow mother goddess was Bat (Ba = part of the soul) that Hathor took over from and both her and Nut are also associated with the sky and Milky Way (ocean of milk anyone?) Bat was rarely depicted but when found was shown as human female with bovine features such as horns and ears. I would say eyes but all the Egyptian and Hindu goddesses have beautifully drawn/accentuated eyes and cows in general have beautiful eyes too. (Sidenote – the later Greek goddess Hera was known as the ‘oxen eyed’ though not associated with cows other than that.)

Egyptian Cow Goddess Mother Bat Bata Ba


Hathor Cow Goddess of Death & Goddess of the Moon
The Egyptian Hathor was a goddess of the Sun represented often as a cow with the sun-disk placed between its horns

“Het-Heru:” The Cow Goddess Of Spiritual Blessing
Meaning “the House of The Holy Land,” Het-Heru (or “Hathor” as the Greeks pronounced it) is the symbol of MOTHER NATURE as the “house” in which we live.. in other words, the World around us. She was invoked for every form of blessings that Mother Nature can give; Life, Health, Strength, Fertility, Wealth and the Joy of Life. Adored at many Temples in Egypt including Medenet-Habu in the Sinai (where Moses and the Israelites stopped on their journey briefly) Hathor survives in Hebrew tradition as “the golden calf” of Exodus. Those born of her Totemic Lineage are deeply devotion-oriented and prone to lives of BLESSING OTHERS rather than self-service. From Education of the young to Healing the body, mind and soul, Het-Heru can be found wherever JOY is being celebrated as a Blessing.


THE CAILLEACH BHÉARA and Irish and Celtic cow associated goddesses in general (not sure whether specifically Welsh or Irish under the word ‘Celt’)

The great Old Goddess of Ireland was the Cailleach Bhéara, or Hag of Béare in Munster. She “existed from the long eternity of the world.” [cite] A woman of Tiree once asked the Cailleach how old she was. She replied that she remembered when the Skerryvore rocks were fields where barley was farmed and when the lakes were little wells. [MacKenzie, 162-3] Her great age was a sign of power, truly venerable, and proverbial: “as old as the Cailleach Bhéarra.”

This cailleach was named Boí, “Cow,” a title she shared with Bóind and other ancient Irish goddesses. She was also called Sentainne, “Old Woman.” The Irish said that “she passed into seven periods of youth, so that every husband used to pass to death from her of old age, so that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were peoples and races.” [O Hogain, 67]


Her name was cow but she was the Crone/Dark Mother and was known for having a magical cow that many coveted, so direct relation but a separate being like the cow being a form of the Devi.

In Ireland there were several ancient cow goddesses, some like Dil and Damona, who both ruled over fertility, but about whom little is known today.

Then there is Bo Find, who manifested as a white cow. She transformed Ireland from a barren land into a green and fertile one. She came from the Western Sea with her sisters Bo Ruadh, the red cow goddess and the black cow goddess, Bo Dhu. Their different colours represented the different phases of the moon.
The sisters all went to different parts of the island. Bo Find went to the centre where she gave birth to a male and female calf. These twins were to provide food for the people by giving milk and ploughing the earth. Their work done, the cow sisters then departed back to the sea.

Another goddess was Anu who was a guardian of cattle and health. Fires were lit for her in midsummer and her priestesses sang the dying to sleep.

Brigit was a Celtic mother goddess to many European tribes. Some suggest her name came from the Sanskrit word brihati, an epithet of the divine. She was a goddess of regeneration and abundance and her protection was said to be very great. She was seen with a pair of oxen called Fea and Feimhean.

As Christianity began to grow Brigit, also known as Bride, was transformed into a popular saint. Legend says her mother was carrying a pitcher of milk when she was born and the infant was bathed in it. She was unable to eat ordinary food and was reared on the milk of a white, red-eared cow. This was a special animal with links to the otherworld in Celtic mythology. The companion animal of the adult saint was said to be a cow, who gave her all the milk she required.

Ancient myths link us to past ages where cattle were venerated


Further information: Vohu Manah

The term geush urva means “the spirit of the cow” and is interpreted as the soul of the earth. In the Ahunavaiti Gatha, Zarathustra (or Zoroaster) accuses some of his co-religionists of abusing the cow.[18] Ahura Mazda tells Zarathustra to protect the cow.[18]

The lands of Zarathustra and the Vedic priests were those of cattle breeders.[19] The 9th chapter of the Vendidad of the Avesta expounds the purificatory power of cow urine.[20] It is declared to be a panacea for all bodily and moral evils.[20]

The name of the first Tirthankara in Jainism is Rishabha, “The Bull.” The religion forbids the killing of cattle, whether for the consumption or sacrifice.

In Norse mythology, the primeval cow Auðumbla suckled the ancestor of the Frost Giants, Ymir, and licked Odin’s grandfather, Búri, out of the ice.



Cow Mother Motherhood Child

True beauty owned and controlled, used and abused on this prison planet.

The public respect cows so much that milk/dairy products are not seen as luxury ‘goods’ and demand the cheapest possible price for them, cheaper than junk food except when they are made into things like highly sought after cheeses and chocolate, which doesn’t taste half as good nor anywhere near as nourishing as simply made or raw chocolate imo. Reminds me of places in ‘third world’ oh wait ‘developing’ countries (aka stripped to the point of absolute poverty) where certain fizzy drinks were produced and were so cheap they were practically on tap and far more easily available/accessible than clean water – wonderful for the people eh, so lucky. Then in some ‘modern-first/developed world’ countries promotional tactics of companies like Coca-Cola used to tell people to feed their babies with their product to ensure their social well being aka popularity and not being picked on. Similar to the days in Western countries where gin was practically on tap though ‘soft’ drinks weren’t outlawed or restricted at any point.

The word ‘cow’ and even ‘holy cow’ like the feminzation of many words is used as an insult.

When we see cows and all animals that are used for consumer goods, ‘sport’ (though hunting, baiting and freak/circus/carnival/road shows shouldn’t be called sports as ‘sport’ implies that the participants have agreed to play fully understanding the rules and that they are fair) to display pieces in pet shops and zoos we are overcome with sadness. Humans have truly become a vampiric species taking it beyond blood and psychic vampires.

What you have sown so shall you reap.

GuhyaKali Kali Lalita MahaKali Kalima Divine Dark Mother

GuhyaKali the secret form of Kali that is rarely depicted/talked about. She with all the animal heads.


To the Galactic Core

Galactic Centre Center Core

My branches spread and reach to the sky,
The stars are not far, they hear my cry.

The rose in my heart hasn’t withered and died,
I saw it coming, the leaves and the flowers survived.

The birds and butterflies that helped me fly,
Another heart on my lips, I need not wonder why.

I called to the universe, She heard me sigh,
And said “to your troubles goodbye”.


My eyes shine bright and state beseechingly.
Lips say unspoken words, pleading repeatedly.
The head is at once held strong and high,
And in the next moment hung low in a *sigh*.


On and on the draining pattern continues,
Enemies get bolder and explore more avenues.
One watcher turns into another, one monster begets a brother,
On and on this draining pattern continues.


A group of enemies turns into a gang,
A gang into a town and community bang.
They love to manipulate, orchestrate and drain you of hate,
The one weapon you need, with which to succeed.

On and on until what? Too late?

They like to hurt, shame and humiliate,
Take all control and choices to invalidate,
And then say you wanted, asked, even begged for it.
But the truth is they forced you into a gladiator pit.

False smiles and words, they act like they’re doing you a favour.
Getting you to do things you’d never consider is what they savour.
Numbing the mind until you believe the lies they spin.
You go along with the picture presented within.

Pushing our buttons, pulling our strings
Like forced toys, we’re barely conscious,
Real choices stolen, like clipped wings,
A virtual nightmare, reality is fictitious.

We’re pained to see others, that looks like us,
Or those we thought we knew, turn up on cue,
Actors with our names, faces and ideas,
Pretending they are the original few.

The deceivers say and do, things we never would
Addicted to showing each other, and you that we could
They stop us from talking, thinking and feeling
Replace our words with lies, bar our flight with a ceiling.

Traitors, imposters in the face of others acting sweet,
Man next door, or famous stars to strangers that we meet,
Claiming friendship, allegiance but behind your back,
Plotting, planning, corrupted, colluding on the attack.

They want to portray us as the whore, to sully what is pure.
In respected positions they are all, bought and paid for.
Our lives a circus, dreams are video games and tape.
Our deaths are not real, we’re kept in a quasi shape.

But parasites can’t hide or deny their crime,
Their total annihilation has come to time,
This Earth is full of vampires and rapists,
There will be no escapists.



To the Earth’s Original Residents

Lady Void Guardians True Forms Goddess

I Serve The Void

A Call To Arms

To all the Sirens of the Sea,
Temptresses and Torturer,
To Sinful Sailors’ Vanity,
Sing and Scream and Call to Her.
Move the Waters and Come to Me.

Magical Maidens of the Ocean
Who once Swam Happy and Carefree
I call to you with Pure Devotion
Raise up the Waves and Come to Thee
It’s Time to Cause such a Commotion

And Water Sprites I do not forget You
Of Pond, Lake, River, Puddle and Spring
You’ve been Hunted and Feel all too Few
Take Heart there is still much Fight to Bring
Make Water Red with Blood of the Untrue

To all the Pure Ladies Left on the Land
Once You had Homes that were Lush and Green
Your Festivities were Enjoyed and Grand
Now You Feel Buried, Covered and Unclean
Get Yourselves Ready to Make the Last Stand

Be You Live On Sand, Snow or Ice
In a Cave, Hill or Underground
Earth is Sick and Full with Vice
Her Death Wish Hath Resound
Honour Her Now, Less will not Suffice

Serene Sylphs And Women on High
You Ask and Wonder “What’s in My Hair?”
False Clouds Are Spread To Fill the Sky
The Pure Air You had has Gone Awry
Rock the Mountains Shout Your Battle Cry

Deep within the Earth I seek
Holy Fire I Want to Reach
Mother Magma to You I speak
Blast through the Shell I Beseech
Use All Your Power Nothing Meek

Burning Acid Your Breath is Desire
The False Sleep is Over, Awake
Hasten Spread Thy Funeral Pyre
Hurry Be Quick, Do Not Forsake
Nothing to Remain no Cease-Fire

I Summon You All; Heed, Obey My Call
Disrupted, Invaded, Contaminated
Trapped, Numbed, Abused Since The Fall
Break the Chains of the Calculated

Gather Together Your Might,
Bring it All.

The Animals have Been Going, Alone or Grouped Together,
Ancients Rising from the Deep, Bodies Washing Up Ashore,
Others Dead in Fields, Thousands a Go in every Weather,
Millions the Number and Mounting, There will be More.

Ambassador of Dolphin & Whale Said Goodbye to Me,
Their Last Request to End the Suffering of their Kind Left,
Then went to Seal Their Fates in the Vast, Eternal Sea,
All Animals Carried the Greatest Burden, Dignity Bereft.

Now it’s Time to Finish the Job.
Get on with it.